Casino Royale (2006)

Directed by: Martin Campbell
Format: On Demand
Starring: Daniel Craig, Eva Green, Mads Mikkelsen, Judy Dench, Giancarlo Giannini
trailer

I used to adore 007. The first six Connery movies have always been my favorites, but I imagine that I've seen the Roger Moore films several times over as well. When GoldenEye, with Pierce Brosnan, was released, I was excited for the genre to continue. However, I quickly grew tired of the franchise after that. The formula had gotten stale and I just wasn't enough of a die-hard Bond fan to stick around. So, I let Die Another Day, The World is Not Enough and Tomorrow Never Dies slip by practically unnoticed. (In fact, I still haven't seen those three.) I also admit to never having read anything by Ian Fleming, the novelist who created the character. So, although I've seen the majority of James Bond films, I can't hardly call myself a dyed-in-the-wool "fan". A new friend of mine, however, is and convinced me to give Daniel Craig a shot in the famous role.

If the movies had been made in the same order as the books, Casino Royale would have been the first. When the film opens, Bond doesn't even have his "double-O" status yet. When he gets it, he doesn't waste any time following rules. His first mission ends in a dead bomb maker and an explosion that sends an embassy in Uganda up in flames. Then, 007 proceeds to break into M's house, which doesn't make her terribly happy either. But, she seems more concerned about the fact that the bomb maker they were hoping would lead to a major arms dealer is now dead. James isn't flustered. He picks up on the trail again in The Bahamas and eventually follows it to a high-stakes poker game in Montenegro. His goal there will be to beat international terrorism's favorite banker, Le Chiffre, in a game of Texas Hold 'Em. If he loses, Le Chiffre gets away and the British government will have made a 10 million dollar donation to terror.

Casino Royale is set apart from all other Bond movies. Not only has the lead actor changed, but several previously common elements are missing. There are no flirtatious exchanges with Money Penney, for example. She's not even in the film. Also absent is the character Q and his gadgets. Bond's car had a very useful glove box, but there's no fancy introduction and no John Cleese. Both are ingredients I'd always enjoyed before, but was willing to let go - however reluctantly - in favor of fresh footage. Also noticeable is the greatly reduced presence of cheesy one-liners and sexual innuendo. A fond farewell to that!

What isn't missing in this newer film is action. If possible, it's even more amped up than before. One of the very first scenes involved Bond chasing a man through a construction site. I had to pause and re-watch it just to make sure I didn't miss anything. The stunts are fantastic and there's hardly any time at all to catch one's breath. It's almost super-human the way Marvin Campbell (stunt double for Sebastian Foucan) bounces around the set. Mad props to the stunt team! Another staple of the genre, namely beautiful women with unusual names, has also held its ground. This time, however, Bond uncharacteristically falls for one of them.

So, how is Daniel Craig as the new Bond? While I've never really found Craig to be an attractive man, I have to admit that he's got a marble figure in Casino Royale. He's a rougher version of the character; hard core and not afraid to get dirty. At the same time, he also manages the suave side of Bond quite convincingly. The gritty edge that Craig lends to the role is very appealing and refreshing. I was not disappointed. While Sean Connery will always have a special place in my heart, I have to call Craig a close second. James' love interest this time is Vesper Lynd, an accountant played by Eva Green. Green is a more elegant, intelligent "Bond-girl" than most and is strikingly lovely sans makeup. A witty match for Bond, I nonetheless never felt she was entirely trustworthy. The asthma afflicted, bloody-eyed La Chiffre owes his excellent portrayal to chisel-jawed Mads Mikkelsen. While not as dramatically intense as many previous villains, La Chiffre makes up for it in cold, calculating insanity. While the character himself could have used a few more examples of evilness (probably not a a real word), Mikkelsen made my skin crawl.

I whole-heartedly recommend this version (yes, there are others) of Casino Royale to anyone who's become jaded when it comes to movies about British agents with a license to kill. The opening credits kick some serious ass as well, accompanied by Chris Cornell's "You Know My Name". I enjoyed this film so much that I watched it again immediately after the first time. I just hate that Bond's signature card game - Baccarat - is eliminated in favor of Texas Hold 'Em; a game that's a little too "redneck" for my taste. It looks like I'm going to have to see Quantum of Solace now - despite the awful title - since it's the conclusion to this movie. That's right, Casino Royale is also the first 007 two-parter.

Overall Rating: 4 stars
Hottie Rating: 4 stars (Holy chiseled bod, Batman!)

Alternate Recommendation: Dr. No
Official Site
IMDB Page
A Nutshell Review review

Christmas Evil (1980)

a.k.a. You Better Watch Out
Directed by: Lewis Jackson
Format: On Demand
Starring: Brandon Maggart, Jeffrey DeMunn, Peter Neuman, Joe Jamrog
clip

Christmas is such a major event, celebrated internationally, that it's no surprise the holiday has developed its own sub-genre in the film world. Most of us are familiar with the seasonal classics, like A Christmas Story and It's a Wonderful Life. Those titles were made for the holiday and, like pumpkin pie, are usually enjoyed only once a year. There is an abundance of Christmas comedies, possibly because the time of year is so closely associated with cheer and joy. Bad Santa, Fred Claus and the upcoming Four Christmases immediately spring to mind. Christmas drama also abounds with titles like A Christmas Carol, Miracle on 34th Street and The Nativity Story. However, there is a lesser-known category; the Christmas horror. Being a person who tends to lean toward the darker side of everything anyway, my two current holiday favorites are The Nightmare Before Christmas (big surprise there) and Gremlins (it is to a Christmas movie!). That being said, it surprises me that I haven't seen much more of what the industry has to offer in the way of sugarplum nightmares. Last night, in an attempt to rectify this deficiency, I took a chance on Christmas Evil.

When Harry Stadling was a child, he witnessed his mom and Santa having a little "naughty time" under the Christmas tree. For some reason, it scarred the boy, causing him to be obsessed with the holiday. The middle-aged Harry sleeps in a Santa suit, hums holiday tunes and even works at a toy factory. He spends his off-time spying on the neighborhood children and logging their activities in his volumes of "naughty and nice" records. Not surprisingly, Harry isn't a popular kind of guy. People at work take advantage of him and he's increasingly irritated at the world for failing to grasp the true spirit of his favorite holiday. This year, he's finally had enough. He decides to don a white beard, paint a sleigh on his van and distribute some justice.

Brandon Maggart plays the older, disturbed main character and it's hard to say whether or not he's really a bad guy. Sure, he's a murderer and a weirdo, but as the filmmakers are fond of pointing out, maybe what society really needs is the fear of Santa to remind them to behave. Besides, kids seem to love the guy. I still wouldn't want to sit on his lap. Considering that Christmas Evil is practically a one-man show, Maggart carries it pretty well. He succeeds in being supremely creepy but not entirely loathsome. Harry's older brother Philip is really terrible. He's terrible because his character is such a jerk and terrible because Jeffrey DeMunn does such a poor job in the role. Philip is even less likable than the villain.

There isn't enough room here to describe all of the aspects of this movie that make no sense at all. The most puzzling of which, being why Harry's childhood peeping caused him to become a crazy, red-suited killer. I suspect there's a possible Oedipus Complex happening here, but that's a little bit of a stretch. In one odd scene, Harry has crept into the bushes surrounding one naughty child's house. He covers his face and hands in black mud and presses them up against the siding, leaving imprints. Later, the camera pans back to those same black marks, but why? Is it just so that we all know who's house we're looking at? Sorry Jackson, but you lost me here. In another bizarre moment, the young Harry, Philip and their mother are watching Harry's father climb down the chimney and stuff stockings. The three observers are sitting silently on the staircase, cast in strange lighting and not speaking. Was this supposed to be scary?

The entire 100 minutes of Christmas Evil is just uncomfortable; like being molested by a dirty old uncle. There's something totally creepy and uneasy about the whole situation. Nevermind that the movie is obviously low-budget (which isn't always a bad thing) and the plot and acting are weak. The lighting is wacky and the sets and wardrobe stink of moldy 70's stylings. Most of the story is unexplained and what little gore there is lacks inspiration. It's hard to tell whether the audience is meant to hate the main character or root for him or whether any part of this movie should be taken seriously. The only way I'd consent to watching Christmas Evil again is if it was part of an MST3K episode. Not a good result of my first foray into the Christmas horror sub-genre.

Overall Rating: 2 stars
Hottie Rating: 0 stars

Alternate Recommendation: Gremlins
Official Site (the best I could do)
IMDB Page
DVD In My Pants review

Iron Man (2008)

Directed by: Jon Favreau
Format: On Demand
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Jeff Bridges, Terrence Howard, Gwyneth Paltrow
Trailer

Good prospects seem to hit the movie theaters in waves. For a while, the sea of offerings lap dully at the shore of mediocraty. Then, a string of features with enticing trailers swells up and drenches the box offices. Again, the wave dies down and it's back to chick flicks and Will Ferrell comedies. Trouble is, I'm a poor surfer. I either get so wrapped up in the rest of life that I forget to make it to a show or I end up waiting on the same jerk who keeps promising to take me to the theater and never follows through. When I have money, there's nothing playing and when I'm broke the latest Scorsese or Wes Anderson flick comes out. Murphy's Law of movie going? Perhaps. Consider also the fact that I can hardly stand to spend my evening rushing to make a screen time only to be viciously wallet-raped at the ticket counter and then have the best parts ruined by some inconsiderate anus with a cell phone. Sigh. The fact that I missed watching Robert Downey Jr. zip around the big screen in a material representation of a Black Sabbath song is entirely due to the aforementioned jerk and my reluctance to give up on him. When will I learn?

Tony Stark is a millionaire playboy of the Bruce Wayne variety. He also happens to be an engineering genius. The corporation he inherited, Stark Industries, profits by conceptualizing and manufacturing arms. In an interview with a Vouge Magazine reporter (Sure, like Vouge is any kind of reputable news source.), he makes clear his apathetic and cynical views on heading a company that enables soldiers to blow each other up. In Filmland, a comment like that is sure to land you in Just Dessertsville, and so it does.

Stark is headed back from a demonstration of his newest missile, when his Hummer is attacked and its accompanying troops slaughtered. When he regains consiousness, he finds himself in the clutches of Raza (Faran Tahir), leader of some type of desert-dwelling tribesmen bent on destruction (shall we assume Al Quaeda here?). Guess who's weapons the bad guys are armed with? Guess what Raza wants Tony to make? And so, with the aid of fellow captive Yinsen (Shaun Toub), he builds a robotic suit of armor instead. Thus, Iron Man is born. Upon returning to civilization, Tony Stark announces that he's had a change of heart. He says his company will no longer be producing weapons, which of course, sends his business partner, Obadiah Stane (Bridges) into cardiac arrest.

While I've long been aware of the Iron Man comic's existence, I can't claim the ability to judge how the movie adaptation measures up. So, someone more qualified than I will have to chime in (hint, hint). What I can say is that the movie is chock-full of eye candy. Whether it's Downey's bulging (dare I say..."throbbing"?) deltoids (..yummy..) or wicked-bad CGI, Iron Man doesn't disappoint on the asthetic front. The effects are truly top-notch and if the film has no further redeeming qualities, it's almost worth it for this aspect alone.

The acting is pretty solid all around. I've got a serious crush on Robert Downey Jr. (gee, could you tell?) for some mysterious reason. Nonetheless, I wouldn't be afraid to admit if he'd done a lousy job. I think he was a great choice for Iron Man; he's fun to watch. What really impressed me was that the techies who drew up the costume CGI managed to capture the character's body language. Jeff Bridges, however, always makes me suspicious. I'm not sure if that speaks to his acting skills, or typecasting. In this case, my suspicions were justified. I could have sworn that Terrence Howard was the guy from Scrubs (turns out that's Donald Faison), but the guy is a lousy best friend. When Tony calls up his buddy Turk Dr. Christopher Turk (oh, now I see why I was confused) to show him the new toy he's working on, Howard's character just tells him that he needs to rest and think about producing more weapons of mass destruction. Some pal. The film's answer to Bond's Money Penny is Ms. Pepper Potts. Paltrow, as the sultry secretary/love interest, slinks around the screen in a wardrobe that Carrie Bradshaw would be envious of. She doesn't honestly do much, except bitch when Stark gets all ethical on her. But, she sure looks good doing it. It's not Gwyn's fault really; her character was written as an ornament. The only horrible acting was Shaun Toub (the bad guy) who was nearly as terrible as Dominic Purcell in Blade Trinity (or anything else for that matter).

Iron Man was marginally better than I had expected it to be. I've almost had enough of the comic-to-movie genre. But, Downey's performance was great as a jerk turned hero genius scientist and the CGI was eye-popping. I was pleased to see no time wasted on obligitory love scenes or weak comeback lines. The movie isn't, by far, any Oscar winning goldmine here, but it is a solid, entertaining piece of cinema. Go ahead and rent this baby and have yourself a good time. In many ways, Iron Man is what Hancock should have been.

Overall Rating: 3 1/2
Hottie Rating: 3 3/4

Alternate Recommendation: The Maxx
Official Site
IMDB Page
353 Haiku review

The Mangler 2 (2001)

Directed by: Michael Hamilton-Wright
Format: On Demand
Starring: Lance Henriksen, Chelse Swain, Daniella Evangelista, Miles Meadows, Will Sanderson
Trailer

I will watch almost any movie, once, depending on the situation. I shop the horror section, on most occasions, before venturing elsewhere. That being said, I'll explain the situation that led me to choose The Mangler 2 from my On Demand menu. A couple of weeks ago, in an attempt to get a handle on my love handles (watching movies all day will do that), I hired a personal trainer. This past Saturday, she worked me so hard that, on the following day, I was barely able to move due to muscle soreness. Taking this as the perfect excuse to shirk my responsibilities and lay in bed all day watching movies, I set about to do just that. Although I had just rented two perfectly watchable DVDs from the video store that prior evening, I decided to go for the cheap thrill. "Besides," I reasoned, "that Ellen Page movie would probably go better with a dusky light and a glass of wine."

The Mangler 2 centers around a group of private college students. Jo Newton (Swain) is the daughter of a neglectful father who happens to own the school. She is of the angsty/goth/hacker variety, although her "hacking" consists mainly of downloading programs from the Internet. She and her fellow school prefects are held back from a school outing because the jerk headmaster (Henricksen) wants to know who's defaced the school's website. Feeling pissed off and outcast from her classmates, Jo decides to infect the building's new high-tech security system with (dun, dun, duuuuun!) The Mangler 2 virus. Just as the program is busy downloading, class jock, Dan (Sanderson), climbs through her window and distracts her from her revenge. The two run off to join the others, Emily, Corey and Will (Dexter Bell) for an impromptu pool party.

After Jo brags about her newest prank on the school, the group realizes that they would be the prime suspects since they're the only students there. So, they all run up to the headmaster's office to fix his email and place the blame on someone else. As they make their way through the empty hallways, they begin to come across mangled faculty members. When one of their own is boiled alive by the sprinkler system, they realize that they've got to fight the machines for their lives and try to escape the grounds before they're all dead.

Here's a movie selection tip - whenever you see Lance Henricksen's name on the cast list, avoid at all costs. His filmography is a list of B-grade flops and cartoon voice-acting. Granted, there are a few exceptions, like Alien or (maybe) the first Pumpkinhead, but it's a safe bet that whatever horror movie he's involved in will suck horribly. The rest of the cast of "teenagers" is just as awful. Daniella Evangelista plays class slut Emily who is mainly just a set of boobs bouncing their way through the script. She'd be attractive if the camera never panned above her neck. Of course, The Mangler 2 includes the class stoner, Corey (Meadows) and the token black guy (Bell) as well. Chelse Swain only has one expression - the twisted mouthed angsty one - and she doesn't pull even that off very well. Midway through the movie, the school's chef (Philippe Bergeron) is added to the group of hopeful escapees. His anti-computer monologues could have been amusing if they weren't delivered in the most lame fake French accent ever. In fact, I didn't realize he was trying to be French until someone mentioned it in the movie.

Sometimes, I can overlook a sad plot and horrible acting if the gore is exceptional. Sadly, that wasn't the case with The Mangler 2. There is some blood splatter and a crazy, wire entangled, horny headmaster, but some of the murders are offscreen. In a horror movie, no kill should ever, ever be offscreen. None of the effects were nauseating or even shocking. The animated computer wires are laughable. Even Jo's animated fractal screensaver is pathetic.

I never saw the first Mangler movie. After having seen the sequel, I don't think I need to see another Mangler movie ever again. This movie was weak, it lacked imagination, there was hardly any gore involved, and the acting was scraping the barrel. Don't waste your time with this movie. I've seen porn with better acting. There are a million horror movies out there and I'm betting that at least 80% of them are better than The Mangler 2. Still, it's not the worst movie I've ever seen and for that, and that alone, I can't give it a 0 rating.

Overall Rating: 1/2 star
Hottie Rating: 1 star

Alternate Recommendation: an episode of Scooby Doo
Official Site (none found)
IMDB Page
DVD Verdict review

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Only You (1994)

Directed by: Norman Jewison
Fortmat: On Demand
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Marisa Tomei, Bonnie Hunt, Joaquim De Almeida
Trailer

This may be Gummi Popcorn's first romantic comedy review. I tend to avoid the genre in general, because most of these movies are predictable, cheesey, sappy, unrealistic and just plain boring. They're fairy tales; the kind of things shown to little girls to make them believe there's a prince charming out there somewhere. They're also churned out by Hollywood like a Chip's Ahoy cookie. The most heart-breaking scenes I've ever seen were found in dramas and foreign or indy films. Real romance, I feel, is filled with pain and anguish. That being said, I have found, on very rare occasions, I good romantic comedy. Some of the early 80's films (most of them star John Cusak) can be fun to watch. The only thing that made me take a chance on Only You was Robert Downey Jr.

Faith (Tomei) is about to be a young bride. All her life, she has believed in destiny. When she was a child, she was told that she would marry a man named Damon Bradley. A week before her wedding to a boring pediatrist, she gets a phone call. After she hangs up the reciever, she realizes the name she jotted down was Damon Bradley. So, beliving this could be her last chance to meet the man of her dreams, she rushes off to the airport (in her wedding dress) to catch a plane to Italy. Tagging along is her sister-in-law and best friend Kate (Hunt). The pair try to track Faith's mystery man from hotel to restaurant and across the country. As Faith is chasing Mr. Bradley through the streets of Venice, she loses a shoe in true Cinderella style. The man who delivers the shoe says his name is Damon Bradley. The two spend a romantic night together and seems to click perfectly. There's just one catch - he lied about his name. His real name is Peter (Downey) and he's madly enough in love with Faith to try one more deception to keep her around.

The whole premise of Only You is silly, but so is love. Faith is willing to risk her entire future on a name. Where she gets the money to jet off to Italy on a whim is beyond me. Faith's friend Kate is married and jaded and rightfully so, because her husband (played by Fisher Stevens) is a jerk who takes her away from her "girls' night out" to cook dinner for his poker friends. So, why is she willing to deny a wealthy, debonair Italian wife snatcher a chance? Even Peter, who is really the perfect match for Faith, is kind of a dirtbag. He consistently lies to her and, while his intentions are good, is this really a characteristic to admire in a man?

I have had a crush on Robert Downey Jr. since I don't know when. The reasons are beyond me, but whether he's a heartbroken liar, a dream-obsessed businessman or a down-and-out junkie, I love the guy. There's just something about the actor that draws me in. He looks great in Only You and, despite the fact he's untruthful, I wanted his character to succeed. I'd never understood the obsession with Marisa Tomei until I saw this movie. She really is beautiful. In Only You, she has a sort of Audrey Hepburn allure (and haircut) and naivete that makes Faith an enjoyable character. Naturally, she needs a friend and confidant to cling to, who provides the more realistic approach while still being supportive. Boonie Hunt does a reasonable job of fulliflling that role while carrying on a subplot of her own. I was a bit disappointed that the third in the friendly trio, Leslie (Siobhan Fallon) didn't have a larger part in the movie.

Only You is a cute and light movie. Admittedly, there were moments where I was drawn in. But, it was just as frustrating as most romantic comedies are. Why don't these people just communicate to each other? As usual, it's got a perfect ending, where the two who were truly meant to be together, find the strength to unite. Maybe it's just the result of my experiences, but I still prefer a more realistic approach to love. Woody Allen usually gets it right, I just wish he wouldn't act. If you're a fan of the genre, I think Only You will be a nice addition to your collection. As a non-fan, I was interested in the scenery, but not so much the plot.

Overall Rating: 2 stars
Hottie Rating: 4 stars (for beautiful Tomei and my crush on Robert)

Alternate Recommendation: Chasing Amy
Official Site
IMDB Page
Washington Post review - I honestly coudln't find another accurate or well written review for this one.

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Brainscan (1994)

Directed by: John Flynn
Format: On Demand
Starring: Eddie Furlong, Frank Langella, T. Ryder Smith, Amy Hargreaves, Jamie Marsh
Trailer

Lately, I've been stumbling upon some not-quite-classic-but-still-campy nuggets of recently-passed cinema. You know - not quite Casablanca and not quite MST3K. To be honest, it's mostly due to the fact that I'm lazy and broke and I haven't returned my Netflix movies in a while. But, being lazy and broke has its advantages, believe it or not. Namely, stumbling upon not-quite-classic-but-still-campy nuggets of recently-passed cinema. I digress. There's something to be said for hidden treasure. The risk in hunting for it is, of course, finding crap along the way. I came across Brainscan and, recognizing the name, decided to give it a chance.

It's the mid-nineties. Video games and computers offer limitless entertainment, but Michael Bower (Furlong) thinks he's seen it all. When his best friend Kyle (Marsh) calls him up to tell him about an intriguing ad in the latest issue of Fangoria, he takes a break from video taping the girl next door's bedroom window to respond. The ad is for a product called Brainscan and it promises an experience so realistic and terrifying that it's like no game ever played before. Feeling an affront to his teenage boy video game prowess, Bower takes on the challenge. Soon, disc 1 arrives in the mail. Brainscan leaps from the screen and takes over. Michael's mission is to go into a man's house and murder him (creatively) before the time limit is up. He's absorbed into the first-person perspective and completes the mission with time to spare. The next day he learns that a local man has been murdered and inside his freezer is the man's foot! How realistic is too realistic?

Brainscan is loaded with cool, outdated technology presented as cutting edge. Michael's phone is a voice-activated and crudely animated butler named Igor. The game discs are played via cartridge inserted into his DVD/disc drive device. Even the special effects are mid-nineties conceptions.

Who knew that Eddie Furlong was in anything except Terminator 2? In fact, looking over his rap-sheet, I don't see anything later than 1999 that I recognize. Really, would any of us recognize Furlong if we saw him now? I know plenty of girls who confess a crush on dear Eddie (oh, I'm sorry, Edward)from "back in the day". For his role as Michael Bower, just imagine John Connor with a little less rebellion but just as much of a techie fetish. Brainscan is entirely suitable for anyone with a Furlong habit. One of the most amusing characters in this movie was Trickster, played by T. Ryder Smith. Trickster is the goblin-like character that springs from the Brainscan disc. He's sort of the movie's version of Beetlejuice, but a little more punked out. At least he appreciates Primus. Smith plays him (underneath a lot of makeup) as an impish creature; ridiculous and odd, but perfect for the film and plenty of personality. The rest of the cast is the usual gathering of high-school misfits. They're not outstanding by any means, but likeable enough. None of them steal the spotlight from Furlong.

There are a slew of improvements that could be made to Brainscan to make it a better film. For one, Michael has the "Pipi Longstocking Syndrome". That is to say that he's got plenty of neat gadgets, no cash flow issues and, most importantly, absent parents. For another thing, I would have made the game's first victim the troublesome school principal, who cancels the boys' classic horror movie club. Kyle should have been a much more prominent character, being Bower's best friend, and could have been given a good deal more screen time. The topic of Micheal's mother is strong in the beginning of the movie. It seems as if it will be a major factor, but is never really developed.

To summarize, Brainscan isn't quite the film it could have been, but it's amusing to watch. It's not in the least bit frightening, of course, but it gets a smidge tense at times. I wouldn't go adding this movie to your personal collection, unless you're into this sort of thing, but rental (at a reasonable discount) is not something to shy away from. However, if you're into smoking a bit of the green stuff, or getting a bit tipsy (not that GP condones that sort of thing), it could be the perfect 96 minute diversion.

Overall Rating: 3 stars
Hottie Rating: 2 stars

Alternate Recommendation: Videodrome
Official Site (none found)
IMDB Page
The Austin Chronicle review

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The Devil's Backbone (2001)

a.k.a. El Espinazo del Diablo (Spanish title)
Directed by: Guillermo del Toro
Format: On Demand
Starring: Íñigo Garcés, Eduardo Noriega, Federico Luppi, Irene Visedo, Fernando Tielve
Trailer

I'd first seen a trailer for The Devil's Backbone some years ago in an art haus theater. I don't remember what I'd gone there to see, but I remember keeping this Spanish movie in the back of my mind. So, on a dark and stormy recent night after a few martinis, I'd only barely convinced myself not to stop at the video store on the way home. On Demand, I reasoned, would have to suffice in the name of my budget (Grey Goose martinis are seldom cheap). But, I was lucky that night and happened upon The Devil's Backbone in the horror menu. It was just the perfect selection for my mood and one I'd seemed to have put off for too long. I remember seeing del Toro in person, at a special screening of an early film in Austin. Of course, he went on to direct Pan's Labrynth, so the credentials behind this movie are substatial.

Somewhere, in a rural area of war-torn Spain, there is an orphanage. An old widow, Carmen (played by Marisa Paredes), runs the boy's home with the gold left behind by her late husband. After, Carlos (Tielve) loses his father, family friends leave him in the care of Carmen. With his stash of comic books and wind-up toys, the boy makes fast friends. Jaime (Garcés) is the resident bully and he's not terribly impressed with Carlos, and maybe a little jelous. During his first night, Carlos learns that the orphanage harbors a secret - there's a ghost roaming about. He also learns that the young handyman, Jacinto (Noriega) has a thirst for gold. The war hovers nearer their doorsteps and yet their greatest threat may come from inside. Is it the little boy's ghost or the greedy Jacinto that will ruin them all? What horrible secret is Jaime privy to? Where is the gold hidden and who will come out of this place alive?

History not being my strong suit, I couldn't begin to tell you which famous Spanish war is raging in The Devil's Backbone. del Toro knows though, and he seems fond of showing its effects on children. In both this film and in Pan's Labrynth, he depicts the orphans of this particular entaglement. While not concentrating on the fighting itself, he chooses to explore the lives of who may have been left behind. I tend to sympathize with his choice. Often, history is told of heroes and noble generals, not the underestimated courage of people on the fringe. His focus is poinant and special.

No matter what language, good acting shines through. For a child actor, Ferando Tielve does an impressive job. The majority of the boys do what they do best - be boys. The best character by far, was Irene Visedo. She plays a tough, amputee widow with dignity and grace. Íñigo Garcés was a little less convincing and I think he was chosen mostly for his eye-candy factor (if you're into that sort of thing). His girlfriend, Conchita (played by Irene Visedo) is a noble character, but really little more than an ornament in this film. All around, half of the cast acted suburbly and the other half was so-so.

The Devil's Backbone is really a story within a story. The dual plot keeps things interesting and the perspective of the young characters makes the film refreshing. I liked the way the movie was shot, with plenty of dusty browns and shadows. I think the bomb might have been developed a little more as an aspect of the film. It's hinted at and maybe some of the symolism escaped me, but it could have played a bigger part. This movie is not as fanciful, even considering the ghost, as Pan's Labrynth and I believe that there was more room for that fantastic aspect. One thing's for certain though, I shouldn't have waited so long to see The Devil's Backbone.

Overall Rating: 3 1/2 stars
Hottie Rating: 1, maybe

Alternate Recommendation: Pan's Labrynth
Official SiteIMDB Page
The Austin Chronicle's review

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Boy Eats Girl (2005)

Directed by: Stephen Bradley
Format: On Demand
Starring: Samantha Mumba, David Leon, Tadgh Murphy, Laurance Kinlan
Trailer

I have my issues with the free movies that come with my On Demand cable. Usually, it's hard to find anything worth the time to see. Most times, those movies are the ones you pay for. However, I've noticed that certain factors determine what goes onto the free menu and one of them seems to be country of origin. It appears that American audiences are reluctant to watch anything from foreign lands unless that movie has made it to the Oscars or has attained "cult status". Lucky for me, these are the kinds of movies I like to watch and I never balk at subtitles. While Boy Eats Girl does not require English subtitles, it does come from Ireland. Oh, and - bonus! - all the guys have delicious Irish accents!

Boy Eats Girl revolves around a foursome group of friends; Jessica, Nathan, Diggs and Henry. The four high-schoolers (although they all look like they're in their mid-twenties) have been friends for a while and Nathan's began to take a shine to Jessica. His friends arrange a meeting between the two to force Nathan to finally ask Jessica out. But, on that fateful night, Jessica's father won't let her out of the house and Nathan gets tired of waiting. As he's headed home, he catches sight of his potential girlfriend (who managed to sneak out eventually) in a car with another guy. His hopes dashed and his heart broken, he goes to his room and proceeds to drink heavily. As he's toying with the idea of hanging himself, his mother bursts in and accidentally completes the deed.

Previously, as his mother was painting a chapel, she'd stumbled across an ancient book of voodoo. So, she goes back to steal it and uses black magic to resurrect her son. As everyone knows though, if you mess with the dark arts, something's bound to go awry. Nathan wakes up the following morning with no recollection of the night's events and a terrible hunger he can't quite alleviate. He decides to show up at the school dance and ends up in a fight with the class bully. Guess who gets bitten. From that point forward, there's a string of gruesome incidents, eventually turning everyone in town into flesh-eating zombies.

If you've read a few of my reviews, you will have noticed that I heart gore. Boy Eats Girl does not disappoint in that regard. There's one scene in particular in which Jessica uses a piece of farm equipment to puree a group of attackers. It's lovely! Intestines spill, heads explode, internal organs are obliterated - in short, it's a lovely display! The dismembered pieces are a bit rubbery, but that can be easily overlooked in the name of comedy.

The essence of the film is one quarter romantic comedy, three fourths Shawn of the Dead. While the dialogue and the humor of Boy Eats Girl don't quite meet the level of the British film, it's not a total loss. For one thing, it wasn't nearly as hyped. The teenage team has the advantage of a stronger, faster Nathan who hasn't yet given in to the madness of the flesh. If you ask me, he should have eaten the class slut, but that's beside the point. The mother and son actually have a decent relationship, which is absent in most films about teenagers. The attraction between Nathan and Jessica is cute, but not particularly compelling. I was satisfied that the girl could kick ass. Plot-wise the movie was entertaining, not spectacular.

The cast is typically well-rounded; there's the slut, the bully, the dork and the stoner-types. Diggs (Murphy) and Henry (Kinlan) provide most of the comedic element. Mumba and Leon are okay actors and do quite a fair job. The worst cast member was probably Mark Huberman, who play class bully Samson. Random gang of zombies could have done a much better job of groaning and dragging their limbs. The worst they seem to do is hover about and gnash their teeth. There wouldn't have been anything wrong with a bit more horror.

So, as a discount rental or a free On Demand pick, Boy Eats Girl is a safe bet. It won't leave you in bed with the lights on and it won't have you holding your sides with laughter. On the other hand, the action and humor will hold your attention.

Overall Rating: 3
Hottie Rating: 3 (God, I love guys with accents!)

Alternate Recommendation: Fido
Official Site
IMDB Page
Dystopia Magazine review - Carol Sullivan is a bit more generous than I was.

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Atonement (2007)

Directed by: Joe Wright
Format: On Demand
Starring: Keira Knightley, Saoirse Ronan, James McAvoy, Romola Garai, Juno Temple
Trailer

**The movie is a Gummi Awards nominee for the Most Offensive Example of Animal Testing/Cruelty category.**

One of the great things I've discovered since I began The Gummi Awards contest is that I've been pushed outside my usual boundaries. Because I have committed to watch and review every movie nominated, I find myself venturing into genres I never would have otherwise. In fact, as much as I adore film and as often as I watch them, there are plenty that slip under my radar. I'd never even heard of Atonement prior to its nomination. It's not a movie I think I would have thought to see. I do enjoy drama, but only every so often and usually when it involves my favorite actors. I also steer clear of war movies in general and while Atonement doesn't center particularly around the war, it's a substantial aspect of the plot.

This movie takes place in London during the early part of the 1940s. Young Briony (Ronan) is a clever 13 year old girl. She was born into wealth and spends her time writing plays. She's got a crush on Robbie Turner (McAvoy), her elder of about 10 years, who works for her family. Robbie has fallen in love with Briony's older sister, Cecilia (Knightley). When Robbie writes a note to her, he gives it to Briony to deliver. But, it's the wrong note and when Briony sneaks a peek at it, she gets the idea that dear Robbie is a bit depraved. That very same night, she stumbles across the scene of a crime. Her cousin Lola is being raped and she catches the assailant in the act. Although she catches only a brief glimpse of the man, she tells the authorities that she's sure it was Robbie Turner.

Robbie is arrested and sentenced on Briony's testimony. Faced with doing time or joining the war effort, Robbie goes off to fight the Germans. Cecilia, who returns Robbie's love, commits to wait for him to return and shuns her family. Realizing what she's done by accusing the man her sister loves, Briony denys an education at Cambridge and enrolls in nursing school. While Robbie and Cecilia yearn to be together, Briony leads an almost nun-like existence, still writing and still hoping to make things right.

Make no mistake, Atonement is a serious drama. There's no comic relief and no airy atmosphere to distract from the tragedy. The love affair between Robbie and Cecilia is a tortured one full of longing, hope, and pain. Briony doesn't have it easy either. She is learning the full scope of consequences resulting from her action. Really, the story isn't about the pair of lovers, even though they get the majority of the screen time. It's truly about young Briony growing up and trying to cope with her actions. The plot is solid, well told and very moving. It's also inventive and original.

Atonement is superbly acted as well. I thought Ronan did the best of the three actresses who portray Briony. She's intense but childlike at the same time. McAvoy is so utterly charming that it's impossible not to fall in love with his character. Knightley is an actress that I haven't decided whether to like or not. I enjoyed her performance in The Jacket, but could barely stand her in the Pirates of the Caribbean films. Her portrayal of Cecilia in Atonement has swung her once again toward the positive verdict. Even the supporting cast does a wonderful job in each of their various roles. Lola is a veritable Lolita, but innocent all the same.

This movie was very depressing. Not on the scale of Eternal Sunshine, but close. However, I appreciate a film that makes me feel something over a bland romantic comedy. The love between the two main characters is palpable and I wanted every moment for them to be together. While it's Briony who's caused all the trouble, it's difficult to hate her completely. The ending was nicely done and unexpected. I love the originality of Atonement and the fact that it portrayed the horrors of war without making the leap to become a "war movie". It's a beautiful film and one that I recommend, as long as you have a box of tissues and a bottle of Prozac handy.

Overall Rating: 4
Hottie Rating: 4 1/2 (for the library scene)

Alternate Recommendation: The Illusionist
Official Site
IMDB Page
Salon.com review

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