M (1931)

Directed by: Fritz Lang
Format: DVD (German w/English subtitles)
DVD Features:
Starring: Peter Lorre, Otto Wernicke, Friedrich Gnaß, Georg John, Gustaf Gründgens

I had heard of M years and years before I rented it. It’s a legendary bit of cinema and one that film connoisseurs hold in high regard. Yet, once I finally received it in the mail, it sat around for at least a month before I decided to sit down and watch it. I imagined the movie as excessively drawn out and serious and to watch something like that, especially in German, I have to be in a certain type of mood. So last night, faced with the option of trodding out in the freezing weather to search for some suitable viewing matter or rewatching something in my collection that I’ve probably seen a million times, I decided that M was the best choice. However, it certainly wasn’t what I expected.

A murderer is on the loose. Not only a murderer, but a killer of children. Little Elsie Beckman is on her way home, amusing herself with a ball, when she meets a stranger. That night, her dinner plate goes unattended. Since she is only the most recent victim in a string of serial murders, the police are frantic to find the culprit. They begin searching door to door and methodically combing the parks and neighborhoods. It’s when they empty out a local gambling hall that the underground element of the city decides it has had enough. To stop the police from interfering with their operations, the crime boss decides, they must catch the killer themselves and bring him to their version of justice.

The most notable actor in the film is, of course, Peter Lorre. He plays the disturbed killer, who is by far the character with the most personality. I had thought Lorre was creepy when I saw him in Casablanca. His performance at the culmination of M is what many hail as one of the greatest onscreen performances in cinema. None of the other characters in the film are really very remarkable. The gang of criminals is certainly more colorful than the police force and have their individual identities to a degree, but the central focus is clearly on Lorre.

From an artistic standpoint, M is Film Noir to it’s core. The movie isn’t just black and white, but effectively uses shadow and form to convey an atmosphere of menace. The echoing, strangely clean streets hold a creepy uneasiness that’s hard to deny. While none of the actual murder is shown onscreen, Elsie’s ball, rolling to a stop alone in the grass is eerie enough. I think that showing the gorey details may have actually detracted from the mood of the film. There’s something to be said about the use of sound as well. M was Fritz Lang’s first “talkie” and as such, there isn’t a great deal of sound involved. In fact, there are several periods during which there is no sound at all. But, that actually adds to the eerie effect as well.

It was interesting to see how many elements of M, made way back in 1931, are still in use. For instance, the note that the killer sends in to the press is analyzed by the police investigators. They scrutinize his handwriting, identify the texture of the paper and writing utensil, and try to pull prints. They also pour over lists of hospital releases and stacks of addresses. It was very much like the crime dramas currently on television, like CSI and Cold Case. I wonder if this movie is where Son of Sam got the idea to send his letters to the newspaper. The door to door police searches reminded me a little of the Gestapo and their hunt for hidden Jews.

One of the best elements of the movie was the criminal underground. They tracked down the killer more effectively than the authorities and their plan (although I won’t spoil it for you) was so simple, it was genius. They even decide to hold a trial for the killer, complete with defense counsel. Not what you’d expect from your average hoodlum, but these guys are organized. Each specialty has its own division. There are the pickpockets, the burglers, the beggars and the prostitutes, who almost seem unionized. But, they all cooperate when their own idea of morality is violated and their way of life threatened by an outsider.

M is a movie that truly surprised me. I had wanted to see it simply because it is so widely respected and I felt that it was a requisite for my own personal “film education”. My expectations were for something dry, slow and hard to appreciate. Fritz Lang also directed the silent film Metropolis, which, although also highly regarded, bored me to tears (I much prefer the animated version that it inspired). However, M was an amazing film! There were times when I was at the edge of my seat, biting my nails because the suspense was so palpable. There are a few moments at the beginning that lag a bit, but most of the film moves at a gratifying pace. The overall atmosphere, accentuated by the simplicity of such early cinema, was eerie and absorbing, without feeling forced or contrived.

If you like a suspenseful crime drama, with a bit of classic style, definitely see M. Even if you’re the type of person who feels daunted by subtitles and black and white film, I encourage you to at least give it a chance. The film isn’t so artsy and high-brow that you have to be a movie guru to enjoy, but don’t expect Hollywood explosives, big breasted women and cheesy romance (or any romance at all) either.

Overall Rating: 5
Hottie Rating: 0

Alternate recommendation: Wait Until Dark
Official site (none found)
IMDB page
Filmjerk review

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Praise for Gummi Popcorn!

I recently received this glowing review of Gummi Popcorn via email. It's my first endorsement!

"Awesome! I started reading your reviews and put your site on my Favorites. I like your writing style, and you are giving me exactly the kind of REAL info I'm looking for in a review." - C.O. in Colorado (used with permission)

Isn't that cool?? She seemed to grasp exactly what I'm trying to accomplish here at GP.

The Grudge 2 (2006)

Directed by: Takashi Shimizu
Format: DVD
DVD Features:
Starring: Amber Tamblyn, Edison Chen, Arielle Kebbel, Misako Uno, Sarah Roemer
Trailer

The Grudge 2 follows a recent trend of Japanese horror films being remade for American audiences. Originally, this movie and its prequel were labeled Ju-On, directed by the same Japanese director, and shot on the same set. Ringu and Ringu 2, known on Western shores as The Ring series are another example. I have seen Ringu and there isn’t a great deal of variation between it and the version starring Naomi Watts. There is even less variation between The Grudge and Ju-On. So, why go through so much trouble to remake the film? Are American audiences so resistant to subtitles and foreign faces? It’s not just Japanese film that gets this treatment either. What about Vanilla Sky (Abre los ojos)? Why spend millions of dollars just to retell a story that, more often than not, was much better the first time?

If you haven’t seen The Grudge, you may be a little bit lost, since the sequel picks up just about where the first one left off. Karen (Sarah Michelle Gellar), after trying to burn down the cursed house from the previous film, is now in the hospital. Her mother in the U.S. decides that she’s going to send Karen’s estranged sister Aubrey (Tamblyn) to Japan to convince her to return home. But, Aubrey doesn’t have much time to talk before the spirits from the house finish her sister off. At the hospital, Aubrey gets some help from a young man named Eason (Chen), who is a journalist investigating the history of what happened in the house.

Meanwhile, high school students Vanessa and Miyuki decide to play a trick on their classmate Allison (Kebbel) and take her into the evil abode. Little do the three of them realize, the legend attached to the house is true – anyone who steps inside will be followed by the phantoms that haunt it and every step they take is doomed. After Miyuki disappears and Vanessa is attacked, Allison loses her grip on sanity and returns to her family in Chicago. But, the curse has followed her there and begins to seep through the walls into the neighbor’s apartment.

Just as with the first Grudge movie, the main spooks are the young woman and son who were the first victims in the house. The boy, Toshio, continues to appear out of the shadows and the mother, Kayako,’s animated hair winds its way around her victims. The two don’t have any new characteristics or talents to speak of, they just pop up in unexpected places. There is a shower scene in the sequel that threatens to mimic a similar scene from part 1, but thankfully it’s just a tease. I would have been happy to see Yoko or maybe Peter take part in the haunting this time. Sadly though, none of the other victims of the curse make an appearance in ghost form. To be quite honest, I’m tiring of the cat yowl and the croaking noises coming from these two. It was creepy the first time, but not in the second round. Many of Yoko’s attacks reminded me too much of a similar long haired spirit from a similar Japanese remake, especially the dark room scene.

As far as the acting in The Grudge 2 in concerned, well, I never thought I’d say it, but, there are worse actors than Sarah Michelle Gellar. In fact, I wish she would have lasted longer in the sequel because I much rather an additional hour of her performance than what the film continued with. Edison Chen was terrible as the so-called investigative journalist and male companion for Aubrey. Granted, even veteran actors from Hong Kong usually bomb in their first American films, but Chen seemed like he was being read his lines from offstage. Amber Tamblyn seems to have mastered little more than repeating the same horrified look over and over. Miyuki, played by Misako Uno, had the most shrill and irritating voice! It was like listening to nails on a chalkboard every time she opened her mouth. Thank god she doesn’t have a huge role in the movie. The best actor I noticed was Matthew Knight, who plays Allison’s curious neighbor Jake.

During most of The Grudge 2, it was as if there were three separate plots taking place at once. Karen’s sister and Eason are the first and most obviously connected characters. The three students, Allison, Miyuki and Vanessa take up the second string. Jake and his family make up the third, and most detached storyline. Until the end of the film, it was difficult for me to determine how the Chicago family was involved, seeing as how none of them stepped foot in the haunted house. In addition, there is a small bit of Yoko’s past that figures loosely into the movie that is never fully realized. The story is sort of all over the place and non-cohesive.

I was very disappointed with this follow up to The Grudge. The first film was truly eerie at times, made much more sense and had a richer cast of characters. The ending to this second movie was relatively confusing and particularly lame, especially the conclusion of Aubrey’s involvement. While a few interesting ideas were touched on in The Grudge 2, they were never explored further or even figured back into the plot afterwards. I was even more let down with this film than I was with the sequel to The Ring.

Overall Rating: 2
Hottie Rating: 1 (Chen was almost attractive if it hadn’t been for the terrible performance)

Alternate recommendation: The Ring
Official site
IMDB page
Dread Central review

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30 Days of Night (2007)

Director: David Slade
Format: theater
Starring: Josh Hartnett, Melissa George, Ben Foster, Danny Huston, Megan Franich
trailer

For every monster, whether it be in movies or in video games, there are rules. Rules such as; vampires die in the sunlight, werewolves are killed with silver bullets, and the only way to kill a zombie is to destroy its brain. Rules tell the heroes how to survive. Even when the monsters are not standard fare, the ground rules have to be laid in order for the audience to understand how the game is to be played. The zombies in 28 Days Later were not the normal, slow variety that audiences were used to. However, the filmmakers let us know how people were infected and how to avoid becoming a victim. Without some kind of structure, things can go to Hell.

30 Days of Night takes place in Barrow, Alaska - the Northern most town of the United States. This far North on the globe, the sun takes a month off in Winter. So, if you’re a creature of the night, it’s the perfect place to vacation. Just as the sun gets ready to dive below the horizon, a stranger arrives in town. A mysterious chain of circumstances eliminates every escape route and puts the only apparent law officer in residence, Eben Oleson (Hartnett), on his guard. But, he doesn’t have much time to sit around and ponder the situation, because the town falls under attack. Vampires. Much of the town is slaughtered right away, but a small group of citizens manages to find a hiding place and try to find a way to survive until the sun returns.

30 Days of Night has some interesting costuming and makeup. All of the vampires are in spiffy suits and have very animalistic faces. However, instead of the standard elongated incisors, they have two rows of very sharp teeth. I liked that the vampires didn’t speak English. I’m no linguistics major, but their dialect sounded something akin to Russian. They’ve all got the strength and agility of vampires, but not much in the way of personality. Call me a traditionalist, but I prefer the Anne Rice, romantic, sexy vampires to the creatures in this movie. Rather than seducing their prey, they go about slaughtering and tearing throats, much more like a zombie would. They seem to gain no sustenance from their victims and delight merely in the kill. I don’t really like this strain of vampire. They didn’t carry much of the allure that I’m used to.

One thing that surprised me about 30 Day of Night was the gore. After the first 30 minutes of the film, I was resigned to the possibility that I may see nothing more than a few blood spattered walls. Once the main characters became the last survivors in town, the gore factor improved dramatically. There’s even a scene where one man has his head chopped off with an ax. Usually, it’s only the swing and the screaming that suggest a beheading that we get to see. In this film, the actual chopping in full, gory detail fills the screen. Right on! I wonder how it managed to sustain an R rating.

I have quickly become a fan of Josh Hartnett. He’s a bit more rugged (and fully dressed) than I’ve seen him in other films, but no less tasty. On top of his killer good looks, the boy can act. His female counterpart in 30 Days of Night is Stella, played by Melissa George. Her character is a little irritating at the start of the movie, but soon becomes a valuable part of the group. Most of the other characters in the movie are sort of mundane. There wasn’t any feeling of loss as they dropped off one by one. No particularly stellar performances. Eben’s little brother Jake (Mark Rendall) was annoying and I never felt any sort of real connection between him and the older Oleson.

I would wait for 30 Days of Night to hit the rental shelves before viewing. It isn’t nearly worth the $9.50 or other outrageous sum paid for admission. The gore factor almost redeems this movie, but the lack of any sort of guidelines (aside from an aversion to sunlight) or personality on the part of the villains makes the struggle unimpressive.

Overall Rating: 2 ½
Hottie Rating: 4 (Hartnett, of course)

Alternate Viewing: Bram Stoker’s Dracula
Official Site
IMDB Site
Horror Movie A Day review

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The Butterfly Effect (2004)

Directed by: Eric Bress & J. Mackye Gruber
Format: DVD
DVD Features: (coming soon)
Starring: Ashton Kutcher, Melora Walters, Amy Smart, William Lee Scott, Eldon Henson
Trailer

There have been countless books and movies exploring the concept of time travel. From that concept arose theories about what the effects would be should it ever be possible to travel into the past. The Butterfly Effect is one of those theories. Although I’ve always known the term as the theory that all things on Earth are effected by, and in turn, effect one another, this movie uses the term another way. In a nutshell, it asserts that if one small thing were changed in the past, it would cause a sort of ripple effect, dramatically changing the present. Remember The Simpsons Halloween episode when Homer accidentally turns his toaster into a time machine? That’s the basic idea.

When Evan Treborn is 7, he starts to experience brief episodes of memory loss. His blackouts and disturbing behavior prompt his mother to take him to a psychologist for evaluation. Although the doctor doesn’t find any medical reasons for his condition, he suggests that Evan begin to keep a journal. At the age of 13, he continues to black out during particularly traumatic events, all of which involve his small circle of friends. Kayleigh Miller is one of his childhood friends and becomes his first love. Her brother, Tommy, is violent and deeply disturbed. Tagging along with those three is Lenny Kagan, the chubby kid that Tommy likes to pick on. But after one too many disturbing incidents, his mother moves them out of town.

One night, years later in his college dorm room, Evan happens to open one of his old journals. As he’s reading, the writing starts to waver on the page and he suddenly finds himself at the age of 7 again, back at the scene described in his journal. Moments later and he’s returned to his dorm room, with a bloody nose and a killer headache. Since he’s a psych major, with a focus on how the mind processes memory, Evan’s interest is peaked by his apparent ability to relive his childhood – literally. He drives back to his old neighborhood to look up Kayleigh, whom he hasn’t seen in years (despite his promise to come back for her). When he questions her about their past, she becomes upset and when Evan returns to school later that night, he learns that Kayleigh’s committed suicide. Feeling that he may be able to save her from that fate, Evan uses his newfound ability to change the past. However, the results aren’t quite what he hopes for.

By far, the most disturbing special effect in this movie is Evan as an amputee. It’s completely creepy and realistic. Aside from that, the visuals in The Butterfly Effect are pretty standard. There aren’t any wild CGI sequences or surreal worlds. There aren’t any notably creative camera angles or lighting effects. In and of itself, the cinematography isn’t bad, but it’s not astounding. It’s basic and expected.

I can’t say that I’ve ever been an Ashton Kutcher fan. He was never my favorite character in That 70’s Show and I made no particular effort to watch Punk’d. As Evan Treborn however, he’s not half bad. Granted, during most of the film he’s got the same sort of confused stoner act going on that he usually does, but it’s much more bearable than usual. Perhaps that’s because the dumb factor is turned down a little and there isn’t that forced attempt to be amusing. I actually enjoyed his younger counterparts a bit more. John Patrick Amedori is Evan at the age of 13. Logan Lerman plays him at 7. Lerman was great, putting Kayleigh’s abusive father in his place. Every time I say that I detest child actors, I find one that makes me retract the comment. The other actors, young and old, are passable, but not extraordinary. My favorite side character was definately Ethan Suplee as Thumper, Evan’s heavy Goth roommate.

Whenever the subject of time travel is approached, there are invariably some kinks and paradox involved. But, aside from the inherit problems with the time travel premise, my two biggest questions were these. If Treborn retains the memory of each sequence of events following his time tampering, and does indeed have several lives full of memory crammed up in his cranium as the good doctor suggests, then why does he seem so stupefied whenever he wakes up to his new present? If he’s got all of the memories leading up to the new present, he shouldn’t be surprised to wake up in bed with no arms. Secondly, if Evan loved Kayleigh so much as to repeatedly attempt to change the future to save her, why did he leave her behind without visiting for so many years in the first place?

Despite what I’ve read in other reviews, I didn’t think that The Butterfly Effect was a bad movie. It’s a little bit mediocre as far as the acting goes, but the plot is definitely interesting. It’s entertaining to see the changes each person makes in response to their traumatic past, and each of the main events in the storyline would be truly disturbing for young people to experience. Ultimately, the movie is a bit depressing considering that each time Evan attempts to cure the present, nothing ever quite works out. I won’t give away the ending, but it’s not particularly sunny either. The depressing movies are usually the ones that keep me thinking though.

Overall Rating: 3
Hottie Rating: 1 (for cute teenage Evan)

Alternate recommendation: The Mothman Prophecies
Official site
IMDB page
A.V. Club review

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Halloween Picks

The 31st has rolled around again and it's my favorite time of year. So, without further ado, I present 10 of my favorite scary movies for your Halloween pleasure (in no particular order).

1. 28 Days Later - the first zombie film to convert me to zombie fandom. Tired of slow, boring zombies? Well, suffer no more! The undead in 28 Days Later are hyper speed and completely insane!! This is why I wake up every morning, praying for zombie apocolypse.

2. Dead Alive - directed by Peter Jackson of Lord of the Rings fame. This movie was made before he was as well known as he is now, and still making quality horror. If possible, get the unrated version. Looking for gore galore? Well, this film has it in endulgent excess with a healthy dose of humor poured in. If you strike out and get the rated version, you're missing the animated intestines.

3. Rosemary's Baby - sure, it's a little tame compared to today's standards; there's no gore and little violence. However, it's a classic, creepy tale that any pregnant woman would shudder at. Even if you're not PG, it's a well-made thriller.

4. Evil Dead - no horror movie list is complete without this title. If you see such a list, it wasn't written by a true horror fanatic. Sure it's campy and low budget and it's basically a one-man Bruce Campbell show, but it's funny as hell.

5. Tale of Two Sisters - this is a Korean film, so be prepared for subtitles. The camera angles are really what make the movie frightening. The first time I viewed this one, I was paralyzed until it ended. Very, very terrifying!!

6. The Eye - another subtitled movie, this time from China. It's about a blind woman who gets an eye transplant and can see the dead. Mostly psychological scares, but very eerie.

7. The Shining - from one of the best directors in history; Stanley Kubric. Need I say more? It also has little to do with the author of the book by the same name. For some reason, it's the weird bear costume scene that scares me the most.

8. Halloween - the first one. Legendary to be sure. I cannot vouch for the rest of the series, but the initial film is solid.

9. Night of the Living Dead - another classic. The entire movie is filmed in black and white and it's of the slow zombie variety, but a good foundation in horror films starts with this one.

10. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (original version) - This movie is hands down, the most terrifying movie I have ever seen. Seriously scared the crap out of me! If you've ever driven through the rural parts of Texas, or any other small town roadside stop, you might know that fear. The really frightening thing about this film is that, in most horror films, the woman runs outside in her neglige and high heeled slippers to check out strange noises. In TCM, the lead character does everything I would have done and still finds herself in a nightmare.

**Bonus Pick** High Tension - a French horror film. Yes, there ar subtitles, but not many at all. The movie is mostly action and - indeed - tension. See it, see it, see it. High Tension knocked Fight Club out of it's number one status as my favorite movie of all time. It's since been replaced by Grindhouse, but that's another review for another time.

I hope you enjoy my Halloween suggestions and have yourself a ghoulish holiday!

Unbreakable (2000)

Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Format: DVD
Disk Features: (coming soon)
Starring: Bruce Willis, Samuel L. Jackson, Robin Wright Penn, Spencer Treat Clark

”This morning was the first morning that I can remember that I didn’t open my eyes and feel…sadness” ~ David Dunn

There was a time, back in high school, when I was a comic book junkie. I spent all of the money I earned working at Domino’s Pizza at the comic store in the mall. My love affair with comics and manga went on for years and I still wander into a shop every now and then. So, I’m always interested when a movie comes out that was either based on a comic book or draws a heavy influence from them. Unbreakable, while not derived directly from the pages of any Marvel or DC title, is about comic books and the heroes and villains that inhabit their pages.

David Dunn (Willis) can’t remember ever having been sick, broken a bone, or taken a day off due to illness. After he survives a catastrophic train wreck, unharmed, he finds a note on the windshield of his truck. The mysterious note leads him to the proprietor of a comic art gallery, Elijah Price (Jackson). Quite the opposite of Mr. Dunn, Mr. Price has suffered so many injuries due to his fragile bones that the children at school dubbed him “Mr. Glass.” In a very calm and matter of fact manner, Price explains to Dunn and his son that he feels comics have their roots in history. The way legends have been passed down through illustration in cultures all over the world, comic books may very well be a dramatic rendition of ancient truths. In a nutshell, Elijah Price thinks Mr. Dunn may very well be a superhero. As might be expected, Dunn thinks Price is a crackpot and ushers his son out of the building. But, due to the rather persistent insinuations of Elijah, Dunn starts to come around to the idea.

The camera work of Shyamalan in Unbreakable is clever and creative. In one of the earliest scenes, the conversation between Dunn and a young woman on the train is shot entirely from the perspective of a little girl, looking between the seats at them. Another scene is shot at a blank television screen, reflecting the characters. There are several scenes in the movie with unusual angles such as these and I hadn’t noticed the same technique in the director’s other films. During flashback scenes, he uses a monochrome lens; showing all but the main focus of the shot in dulled tones. While not completely original (Schindler's List uses it too), it’s still an effective method.

One of the things I notice most about Samuel L. Jackson’s acting is his talent with dialogue, most notably illustrated in Pulp Fiction. He delivers lines clearly, calmly and with just the right tone. The better directors seem to know how to utilize this skill when they give him the script. Unbreakable is no exception. Although Price is explaining a somewhat outlandish theory, it comes out sounding completely logical. Bruce Willis has worked with Shyamalan before, in The Sixth Sense. I think the two men work well together. I much rather enjoy seeing Willis in departures from the testosterone overload films like Die Hard. The actor who plays Dunn’s son, Spencer Treat Clark, does a really fantastic job. Even before he learns that his father may be the stuff of legend, it’s clear that he views the elder Dunn as a hero. In the last scene of the movie, he communicates the emotions of his character better than most child actors could. One of the characters I couldn’t help but feel for was Elijah’s mother, Charlayne Woodard. She’s a terribly strong woman and a great maternal figure.

While I have always been partial to Shyamalan’s films, Unbreakable has always seemed underappreciated to me. His take on the superhero genre is refreshing. Somehow, the whole movie is infused with a sort of eeriness. The first scene of the movie gives me chills each time I see it and sets a great tone for the rest of the story. Underlying the hero/villain story is the relationship between Dunn and his wife (Penn). There’s a sadness between them that makes the hero a bit more human. Shyamalan does a wonderful job of making the whole fantastic tale feel very real.

Overall Rating: 4
Hottie Rating: 3 (Willis is a loveable hero)

Alternate Viewing: Lady In The Water
Official Site: none found
IMDB Site
Pop Matters review *spoilers*

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Lucky Number Slevin (2006)

Director: Paul McGuigan
Format: DVD
Disk Features: Commentary, deleted scenes, trailers, making of
Starring: Josh Hartnett, Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, Ben Kingsley, Lucy Liu
Trailer

”Sometimes there’s more to life than just livin’.” ~ Mr. Goodkat

A good intrigue movie is hard to come by lately. In the days of Humphrey Bogart and French Film Noir, it seems that mystery was in its heyday. So, I really love to see something come out with a solid sense of style, snappy dialogue and a truly engrossing plot in the modern age of cinema. Few filmmakers nowadays seem to be able to roll those three criterion into one successful film, but every now and then, something special comes along.

Have you ever heard of a Kansas City Shuffle? Lucky Number Slevin begins with an explanation of just what one is. It all starts with a horse race, and a hot tip that makes it’s way around, only to land with one man’s family destroyed. Several years later, the mysterious Mr. Goodkat (Willis) returns to New York and one Slevin Kelevra (Hartnett) gets mistaken for someone he’s not. It seems that Nick Fisher is in trouble with the mob. Slevin, who’s staying at his friend Nick’s house, is abducted by both The Boss (Freeman) and The Rabbi (Kingsley), mistaking him for Fisher. Slevin discovers that he’s got to come up with several thousand dollars, in addition to killing a man, to get out from under the rival mob bosses thumbs. Meanwhile, he runs into Nick’s neighbor, Lindsey (Liu), who’s love of Columbo and a good mystery draws her into the plot.

The sets in Lucky Number Slevin are almost enough to make the movie worth watching by themselves. The incredibly cool wallpapers in Fisher’s apartment building are sheer eye candy. The Boss’s lair is beautifully constructed, right down to the dramatic staircase. The wardrobe, although not quite as elaborate, is aesthetic bliss as well.

After seeing Josh Hartnett in this movie, I needed an entire roll of paper towels to wipe the drool off of my chin. Going back through his filmography, I realized that I’d already seen a good portion of it. Not only is Hartnett easy on the eyes, he makes Lucky Number Slevin stand out as an example of his acting talent. Bruce Willis is great, because of his smooth delivery and wry smile. Freeman and Kingsley play wonderfully off of each other as the bitter rivals they are. Kingsley’s portrayal of a Rabbi is a tad bit over the top though. Liu is adorable in this movie. Her character is wonderfully sweet and adventurous.

The combination of great dialogue, lovely scenery and truly engrossing mystery make Lucky Number Slevin one of my top picks for the year. The twist is unpredictable and each of the characters is expertly played. After I rented this from Netflix, I had to make it part of my collection. I’ve watched it so many times since, I find it hard to believe that the film is only a year old. But, the replay value has proven to be worth the cost of the DVD. It’s also a film that I think both guys and girls can appreciate, without there being so much action as to be a “guy movie” and so much romance as to be a “chick flick”. If you’re a fan of Tarantino movies, it may be a great substitute to pop in the player when you’re sick of watching Kill Bill.

Overall Rating: 5
Hottie Rating: 5 (for Josh Hartnett spending half the movie in nothing but a towel – Meeeow!!)

Alternate Viewing: Brick
Official Site
IMDB Site
The Vocabulariast review

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Rawhead Rex (1986)

Director: George Pavlou
Venue: Online
Starring: David Dukes, Kelly Piper, Heinrich von Schellendorf, Niall Toibin

The 1980’s produced a number of good movies. The Breakfast Club with Emilio Estevez and Molly Ringwald was one of my favorites. Back to The Future with Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd was an instant classic. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off tops my list of best 80’s movies. It’s true that not everything created in the 80’s was a good thing. If you’re as old as I am, you’ll remember the wall-o-bangs hairstyles, legwarmers and baby boomers. Yet, certain things born in this era should stay buried in the past. In fact, some movies are so bad, so criminally awful, so devoid of any redeeming quality, that every last copy should be hunted down and tossed into the flaming pyre of shame, along with their creators.

Rawhide Rex does indeed have a plot. Granted, it’s pathetically contrived and about as weak as a 2 day old puppy, but it’s a plot nonetheless. The story takes place somewhere in Ireland, in a rural village. When a local farmer uproots an ancient monolith, the legendary demon, Rawhead Rex is released and begins to terrorize the township. Howard Hallenbeck (Dukes) and his family have arrived just in time for the massacre. Hallenbeck has been carting his family around the countryside, photographing small churches and attempting to uncover their Pagan roots. Luckily for the rest of the population, his photos hold the key to stopping the demon.

As you may have guessed, the prominent character in Rawhide Rex is, in fact, Rawhide Rex himself. With that in mind, it’s reasonable to expect a little bit of effort to go into the costume. However, a gorilla suit, a dime-store Halloween mask, and a few castoffs from the Mad Max wardrobe room don’t quite scream, “resurrected demon from Hell” to me. Rex is basically Heinrich von Schellendorf running around in a cheap costume yelling, “Rawr!”. His little devotee is father Declan O’Brien (Ronan Wilmot), who becomes so after touching a mysterious hot spot on a table in the church (I kid you not). In a WTF moment toward the climax of the movie, Rex unexpectedly “shoots his load” all over the priest. I suppose that’s what he gets for dropping the F-bomb about 20 times in a row inside a church.

The protagonist in the picture isn’t much more entertaining and his family pretty much deserves to be torn to shreds by Rawhead Rex. His wife Elaine can’t seem to find anything to wear except her nightgown and takes absolutely no interest in parenting her two kids. Little Robbie Hallenbeck (Hugh O’Conor) is a mouthy brat who keeps his nose in his comic books and smarts off to his parents constantly. The little girl’s name is Minty. Who names their child Minty? Other than constantly whining, she’s a typical tyke. Hardly any of the rest of the characters in this movie are worth mentioning, except that they’re a mob of Irish stereotypes – ignorant and drunk.

Watching Rawhide Rex, one almost expects to see three little silhouettes in the bottom corner, cracking wise about the movie. However, if you find yourself watching this monstrosity, it won’t be hard to make up your own clever quips. That might be the only way to survive the 89 minutes of your life flushing rapidly down the drain. There’s absolutely nothing in this movie worth taking seriously and it’s even too bad to have that camp appeal which might otherwise make it bearable. No wonder I was never a Clive Barker fan. Heed my warning and avoid at all costs.

Overall Rating: 0
Hottie Rating: 0

Alternate viewing: Hellraiser
Official site (none found)
IMDB site
Cavalcade of Schlock review

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Stranger Than Fiction (2006)

Director: Marc Forster
Format: Blu-Ray
Disk Features: ??? (please submit)
Starring: Will Farrell, Dustin Hoffman, Emma Thompson, Maggie Gyllenhaal

Late in the 1990’s there was a movie called The Truman Show. The movie was based on a number of ideas from different books. One book was Time Out of Joint by Philip K. Dick. Laugh all you want at the name, but the man is a fantastic author. Regardless, the basic premise breaks down like this: main character is living in an artificially constructed world, oblivious of the outside. One day, the cracks in the walls begin to appear and the illusion falls apart. Well, Stranger Than Fiction has a touch of the same idea.

Harold Crick (Farrell) is a middle aged auditor for the IRS. He leads a very calculated lifestyle, brushing the same amount of strokes each morning and walking the same speed to the bus stop at precisely the same time. Aside from being very mathematical, Crick is also very lonely. As you might imagine, IRS auditors aren’t very popular. One day, however, a wrench is thrown into the clockwork of his life, in the form of a mysterious voice, narrating his every action. It becomes particularly disturbing to Crick when he hears it predict his eminent demise.

After becoming dissatisfied with professional psychiatrists, he decides to seek the aid of a literature professor. Professor Jules Hilbert (Hoffmann) analyzes his predicament and tries to help him determine what type of story he might be in. Meanwhile, Harold falls in love with Ana Pascal (Gyllenhaal), the owner of the local bakery whom he’s auditing. It seems that learning he’s going to die has given him a new outlook on life. At the same time, author Karen Eiffel (Thompson) is in the depths of an alcoholic despair, attempting to find a way to kill off the main character in her new book, little realizing that her Harold Crick is a living man.

There were two computer aided effects in Stranger Than Fiction that I was quite fond of. During Crick’s introduction, lines and graphs and diagrams appear over the scene to enhance the description of the calculations in his life. I thought that they were a clever touch, without being terribly intrusive. The other effect was Crick’s wristwatch, which is a character unto itself and figures strongly into the plot. The little clockwork has an adorable personality, but isn’t annoying or overdone.

Although Will Farrell has been very prolific as of late, starring in movies like Anchorman and Talladega Nights, his brand of humor has never appealed to me. His characters are usually well meaning morons. In Stranger Than Fiction, that aspect of his character isn’t as pronounced and I found it more bearable that way. With the semi-seriousness of the plot and the balance of the other great actors, it wasn’t hard to enjoy Farrell at all. Emma Thompson is stellar, as usual. I love her morbidly fascinated alcoholic author role and also enjoyed Queen Latifah as her assistant, Penny Escher. Hoffman didn’t disappoint either, although this type of role for him is getting a little tiresome.

Not nearly as depressing as I was led to believe (I’m looking at you Seanchez), Stranger Than Fiction was a solidly enjoyable film. It’s humor is much more subtle than movies like Old School and yet it isn’t so dramatic as to sink your mood. Think quiet evening at home with a bowl of popcorn.

Overall Rating: 3 ½
Hottie Rating: 3 (for Maggie Gyllenhaal – hello Secretary!)

Alternate Viewing: Punch Drunk Love
Official Site
IMDB Site
James Berardinelli review

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Gummi Popcorn

As you may have noticed, Neko Goes to the Movies has changed its name to Gummi Popcorn. This is in preparation for a major make-over set to occur later this month (I hope). My final class for my web design certification is today! (*sweating*) So, barring a few minor obstacles, I should be able to get this puppy up and running in its new format. There is also the possiblility of a domain change, but that is uncertain at this point. In the event that that does happen, redirect info will be posted here. I hope everyone enjoys the new look! Keep your fingers crossed for me! ^_^

Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone (2001)

Director: Chris Columbus
Format: DVD
DVD Features: theatrical trailer, additional footage, Hogwarts tour, explore Diagon Alley, catch a snitch, DVD-ROM extras
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Robbie Coltrane, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Richard Harris
Trailer

Anyone who is just beginning to get into the Harry Potter series will need to start with this movie, or its literary equivalent. The Sorcerer’s Stone is the very first installment of Harry’s adventures and was very much anticipated by fans of J.K. Rowling’s novel. By now, there is hardly anyone who isn’t familiar on some level with the name Harry Potter. However, I resisted the pull of this franchise for years and I imagine there may be others who haven’t yet delved into the story of this child wizard.

Young Harry Potter (Radcliffe) is at the age of 11 when this tale begins. He was orphaned as an infant and left on the doorstep of Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, his aunt and uncle. Rather than treating the boy with the tenderness and love a family should share, the Dursleys dote on their fat, spoiled son Dudley (Harry Melling) and force Harry to live under the stairs. One day, a letter is delivered via owl for Harry and although the Dursleys try their best to keep him from opening it, it finally reaches the boy. Much to his amazement, Potter finds that he’s been invited to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Not only that, but he’s told that both of his parents were powerful magicians who died defending him from a notorious evil wizard. Amazed to discover that magic is real in the first place, Harry is greatly delighted to find that there is an entire magic society, carefully hidden from Muggles, or non-magic people.

Our young hero boards the steam train headed for Hogwarts and meets two fellow students. Hermione Granger (Watson), a studious know-it-all and Ron Weasley (Grint), a red-headed boy in hand-me-down robes, will be Harry’s two closest friends. Their first year at school brings several surprises, a few rivalries, and an adventure that sparked a phenomenon.

The magical world of Harry Potter is loaded with wonderful special effects. Pictures that move and speak, chocolate frogs that really hop, floating candles, transforming cats, and flying broomsticks are just some of the enchantments that The Sorcerer’s Stone has to offer. But all of the CGI in the world means nothing without a decent plot or cast.

That’s why it’s so important to appreciate the skillful actors in this film. Most of the main characters are played by young actors, who were relatively unknown before the Potter series began. Naturally, they lack some of the subtleties that the more seasoned cast has mastered and it is nice to have the two ends of the spectrum to balance out the performances. Professor Serverus Snape (Alan Rickman) and Professor Minerva McGonagall (Maggie Smith) are two of the best played roles in the film. Rickman fits into the black robe of the snide, sinister (but not quite evil), professor like a snail fits its shell. McGonagall is prim and proper and sometimes severe, but nonetheless a friend to Potter. As far as the younger members of the cast are concerned, all three are impressive on the scale of child acting. I enjoyed Watson and Grint a bit more than I did Radcliffe. However, Radcliffe has become the face of Harry Potter and I’m not sure that I would readily accept a cast change for his position.

Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone should win an award for “Most Accurate Adaptation From a Novel”, because it is nearly possible to read along with the movie. I read the novel after I saw the film and I was actually a bit disappointed. I had been seeking something further from the book than I found in the movie, but it wasn’t there. Nevertheless, the series is addicting, despite its target age demographic. While this first film is not as entertaining as some of the later movies, it provides the necessary background to them all. So, if you’re looking to explore this world of wizards and witches, be prepared for a Potter jones until you get your hands on The Chamber of Secrets.

Overall Rating: 4
Hottie Rating: 1 (for Sean Biggerstaff and his adorable Scottish accent)

Alternate Viewing: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe
Official Site
IMDB Site
Flipside Movie Emporium review

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Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006)

Director: Adam McKay
Format: Blu-Ray
Special Features: interviews, gag reel, deleted and extended scenes, mock commercials, mock public service announcements, bonus race footage, etc.
Starring: Will Farrell, John C. Reilly, Gary Cole, Jane Lynch, Sacha Baron Cohen

I’m picky when it comes to comedy. I always describe myself as a “Marx Brothers” as opposed to a “Three Stooges”. So, when the latest comic trailer whizzes across the screen, I rarely take notice. However, I’ve heard so much about Talladega Nights that I figured it was about time to take the plunge and see what all the hype was about.

Born in the backseat of a speeding muscle car, Ricky Bobby (Farrell) has always had an addiction to acceleration. One day, while working with a Nascar pit crew, Ricky gets his big break. After the team’s apathetic driver stops in the middle of a race to get a bite to eat, Ricky is chosen to take the wheel and pulls off an amazing finish. From that point on, his career skyrockets. Soon, he finds himself with a gold-digging wife, two kids, a mansion and an inflated ego. But, the team’s manager has it in for Ricky and hires a new driver from France to compete. Jean Girard (Cohen) is not only French, but sharply dressed, suave and gay. After Bobby’s first loss to the newcomer, his life quickly races downhill. But nothing can keep Ricky Bobby down for long because, “If you’re not first, you’re last.”

The cinematography in Talladega Nights is not the first thing about the movie that most people would examine. However, there are some terrific shots in the film. One in particular that caught my attention was a smooth shot following a speeding racecar, moving in through the rear window, through the car and out through the windshield to face the front of the vehicle. Computer aided or otherwise, it was cleverly executed.

Will Ferrell has never been one of my favorite actors, however prolific he has been lately. I am starting to appreciate that he’s a better actor than I first believed though. Ricky Bobby was a definite improvement over Anchorman. There are a few subtleties in his acting style that are the key to his success as a comedic talent and if you’re not paying attention, they’re easy to miss. The character’s sidekick, Cal Naughton, Jr. (Reilly) is a great foil for Ferrell. No matter how dumb Ricky Bobby seems, Naughton is always one step behind him. At one point, two become rivals and one scene in which Naughton casually phones Bobby, after stealing his wife, home and career from him, is greatly amusing. While I may have disliked his movie Borat, Sasha Cohen is much more amusing as the French racer, bent on fighting Ricky Bobby to the finish. His accent is completely over the top. Watching him sip espresso and read fine literature behind the wheel gave me a few giggles. But, the funniest scene by far involved Ricky’s father and a cougar had me in stitches. The two Bobby children, Walker (Houston Tumlin) and Texas Ranger (Grayson Russell) are fantastic and Molly Shannon as Mr. Dennit’s alcoholic wife just killed me.

Talladega Nights is clearly a parody of the stereotypical redneck Nascar fan, but doesn’t go so far overboard as to alienate the very people it pokes fun at. While not cramp-in-the-sides hilarious, this movie had a few good laughs and a decent amount of excitement. There is only one point at which the movie lags, but for the most part, the plot moves along at a steady pace. All of the actors do a fine job. I recommend The Ballad of Ricky Bobby as an accompaniment to a pizza, I case of brew and good company.

Overall Rating: 2 ½ stars.
Hottie Rating: 0

Alternate viewing: Swingers
Official site
IMDB site
Salon.com review

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Great Expectations (1998)

Director: Alfonso Caurón
Format: DVD
DVD Features: movie trailers
Starring: Robert DeNiro, Ethan Hawke, Gwyneth Paltrow, Chris Cooper, Anne Bancroft
Trailer

I took this movie home on loan from the same friend who watched The Count of Monte Cristo with me. Originally, Great Expectations was a novel by Charles Dickens. It has been adapted many times for the big screen and the small one. This 1998 edition is the most recent of all of the movie versions. I have seen the cover of the movie countless times, but never considered renting it, as it’s not my typical cup of tea. Also, having not read the Dickens story, I can’t be sure how close the movie mirrors his original plot. However, I do like to step outside of my general sphere of film watching from time to time and experience something different, especially upon a recommendation.

Young Finn Bell (Jeremy James Kissner) is a boy of 10, living in Florida with his older sister and Uncle Joe (Chris Cooper). Aside from helping Joe out with odd jobs around town, Finn spends much of his time with a sketchbook and a pencil. One day, a rich eccentric woman hires Finn as company for her young niece Estella (Raquel Beaudene). Every weekend, he visits their mansion to dance with Estella and otherwise entertain the old woman. But, even though the crazy dame warns Finn that Estella will eventually break his heart, he falls madly in love with her as the years pass.

One day, Estella disappears without much of a goodbye. Finn, now in his twenties (Ethan Hawke) is devastated. Determined to forget her, he throws himself into work on a fishing boat and leaves his drawing behind. Quite unexpectedly, an attorney shows up at his door and tells him that an anonymous benefactor wishes to send him to New York to show his work in his own studio debut. Bell flies off to The Big City, where he runs into the beautiful Estella (Gwyneth Paltrow) again. She serves as his muse and sparks a series of artwork for the show. However, she is on her way to becoming another man’s bride.

Paltrow does a magnificent job of portraying a wealthy young woman who’s been raised most particularly to break a man’s heart. She is constantly teasing Finn and allowing him just a taste of what he’s been longing for his whole life before pulling away. I have only enjoyed the actress in one other film (The Royal Tannenbaums) and she surprised me in Great Expectations. Hawke makes the transition nicely from being the naïve small-town fool, to being a mature and perpetually heartsick artist. Both of the children playing the characters as their younger selves did a superb job as well. The mad old woman in the film, Ms. Nora Dinsmoor, is played by Anne Bancroft. Granted, she is a little strange, the actress didn’t quite reach the edges of insanity and wickedness that it seemed the role called for. Her repentance at the end was hardly convincing either. Chris Cooper slid into the role of Uncle Joe with ease and fit the bill completely. Then, of course, we have Mr. Robert DeNiro, who plays an escape convict that Finn helps on more than one occasion. This actor almost never disappoints and didn’t let me down with this movie either. There’s a reason the man is a legend.

The cinematography in Great Expectations is beautiful. From the wide-open ocean landscapes to the rainy streets of Manhattan, Emmanuel Lubezki graces each scene with cool shades of blues and greens. Practically every shot is worthy of a postcard or a picture book. Francesco Clemente is the true artist behind all of Finn’s doodles and gallery work. While it’s not conventional portraiture, it has a genuine appeal and humanity about it. The song “Siren”, performed by Tori Amos floats along in the backdrop from time to time and lent a lot to the atmosphere of the picture.

I normally don’t enjoy this type of film, but I was pleasantly surprised to find both the plot and the acting quite satisfactory. There was a great sort of sorrow and eroticism in the relationship between the main characters that I enjoyed. In fact, I actually found myself a bit choked up during Hawke and DeNiro’s final scene. It’s a movie that I might not have given a chance had it not been talked up by my friend, so many thanks to him. But, ladies be warned that it might be a bit of a struggle to get your S/O to agree to.

Overall Rating: 3 ½
Hottie Rating: 3 (for the nude Gwyneth scene)

Alternate Viewing: The Illusionist
Official Site
IMDB Site
The Austin Chronicle review

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Constantine (2005)

Director: Francis Lawrence
Format: Theater / DVD
DVD Features: trailers, added scenes, alternate ending, DVD-ROM
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Rachel Weisz, Tilda Swinton, Gavin Rossdale, Shia LaBeouf,

Let it be known from here on out, that I am an Atheist. I don’t believe in God or Heaven or Hell. No, I don’t believe in Satan either, because I imagine that he was invented by the same mythic text as the rest. But, for some reason, I am still fascinated by the personification of the Devil in pop culture. I love grand cathedrals and all of the affectations surrounding faith. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I love horror films, which are often fraught with Catholic symbolism. Many of the best horror films involve priests (The Exorcist, for one), churches or the Apocalypse. So, the trailer for Constantine practically grabbed ahold of me a dragged to the theater.

Although Constantine was based on a comic book (Hellblazer), the main character is more of an anti-hero. John Constantine (Keanu Reeves) drinks a lot, smokes even more and is particularly cynical about most everything. Albeit, not without reason. See, the man has literally been to Hell and back after a botched suicide attempt. He’s been graced, or cursed, with the power to see angels, demons, and what he calls “half-breeds” and he’s become a crusader of sorts. With the aid of his friends Hennessy (Pruitt Taylor Vince) and Beeman (Max Baker) and aprentice Chas Kramer (Shia LaBeouf) travel around the city performing exorcisms and combating evil spirits.

After her sister’s death, Angela Dodson (Rachel Weisz) seeks out Constantine in the hope of finding answers to what she doesn’t believe was a suicide. At first, John throws the badge carrying Angela out of his apartment. But, when he realizes that she’s being hunted by the supernatural, he rushes to help her. The two of them pick up a series of clues and soon figure out that the proverbial shit is about to hit the fan, in terms of the fate of the world.

The visuals in Constantine are amazing. Hell is a smoldering, disintegrating version of the living world, populated by sincerely grotesque monstrosities. It’s so beautifully constructed that it’s hard to keep from sweating, watching the heat waves engulf entire landscapes. In the human plain, costuming is impeccable and Gabriel’s wings are worthy of an angel. His outfit near the end of the film is terrifically inventive, and just try to top Satan in his white suit. The sets are grim and gritty, full of texture. Constantine’s apartment and Beeman’s hideout are both curiously fascinating haunts.

For years and years, I have avoided films that star Keanu Reeves. I have never considered him a good actor. When The Matrix came out, I started to give the actor more of a chance. Once, I read an article about Reeves, which made the point that he’s a good actor because he’s such an empty slate. Regardless, Keanu makes a wonderful Constantine. The only other actor I would have considered for the job might be John Cusack, but he’s a little too meek to measure up. Rachel Weisz is fast becoming one of my favorite actresses. However, she’s not particularly convincing as a police officer. Granted, the plot doesn’t focus much on her career, but there’s an edge she seems to be lacking. Chas, Hennessy, and Beeman are all terrific characters, richly designed and well played. Tilda Swinton is divine as the angel Gabriel, but her demon counterpart, Balthazar (Gavin Rossdale) was disappointing. One of the best characters is Midnite, played by Djimon Hounsou. If there were to be another movie with this set of characters, I would love to learn more about him.

I don’t have anything bad to say about Constantine. It’s exciting, visually appealing, well acted, and has a great storyline. My only wish is for more of the characters and their individual stories. Some movies have the ability to astound in the theater, but can’t hold up to repeat viewing at home. Although I eventually purchased the DVD release of Constantine, I have watched it over and over again without growing tired or disinterested. This one’s a sure bet.

Overall Rating: 5
Hottie Rating: 5 (for Reeves and LaBeouf, and for Weisz's wet shirt scene)

Alternate Viewing: Night Watch
Official Site
IMDB Site
Salon.com review

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The Count of Monte Cristo (2002)

Director: Kevin Reynolds
Format: DVD
DVD Features: deleted scenes, audio commentary, featurettes
Starring: James Caviezel, Guy Pearce, Richard Harris, Dagmara Dominczyk
Trailer

I like getting movie recommendations from friends. I rarely watch movies with friends, so it’s really nice to have that experience as well. What’s triply nice is when I get to sit and watch with a friend and they don’t insist on talking through the whole thing or trying to make out with me. Granted, there are certain movies that just beg to be made out to, like Crash with David Spader, for instance. And if I’ve seen the movie a bazillion times, like The Princess Bride, it’s okay to talk through it. But, when I see movies, I generally want everyone to shut the hell up and let me watch. The Count of Monte Cristo was a film I got to see with a friend, a quiet one.

Edmond Dantes (James Caviezel) is a young man who’s making his way in the world. He’s got a beautiful fiancé and has just gotten a promotion. Fernand (Guy Pearce) is a friend of Edmond’s, noble born and exceedingly jealous. Edmond is happy-go-lucky until he is shipped off to prison on the island of Chateau d’lf , framed for treason. He’s held captive there for 13 years (which reminded me of a Korean movie called Oldboy). Fortunately for him, Edmond meets up with another captive, Abbe Faria (Richard Harris), who trains him in the arts of combat, teaches him to read, and enlists his aid in digging a tunnel out of captivity. And eventually, after so many long years, Dantes finds a way out of Chateau d’lf and into a large fortune. Bent on revenge, Edmond Dantes takes on his new persona, The Count of Monte Cristo, and quickly infiltrates the social circles in which Fernand travels. Not even Mercedes (Dagmara Dominczyk), Edmond’s former love is safe from the vengeful wrath of The Count.

It took me a moment to realize where I’d seen Guy Pearce before. I recognized the face, but just couldn’t remember a plot or character to connect him to. That’s when my friend reminded me – Momento. Momento was a terrific film and so, I was expecting a similarly stellar performance from Pearce in this movie. Sadly, it didn’t get what I was hoping for. In fact, most of the cast did a mediocre rendition of the characters in this classic tale. I certainly wasn’t impressed by Pearce, Caviezel, Faria or anyone else.

Although it wasn’t a horribly trashy film, The Count of Monte Cristo was dulled beneath a thick glaze of Hollywood treatment. There wasn’t anything particularly edgy or revolutionary in this take of the story. The segment of the film in which Dantes meets Faria and builds himself up to the task of seeking revenge would be familiar to any fan of classic kung-fu films. I was reminded of countless subtitled features wherein the lead character suffers great losses, meets an old master, undergoes training and comes out better and stronger than before. There is a fairly entertaining fight at the end, when The Count takes on his enemies and there is hardly a moment when it doesn’t seem that Dantes’ revenge isn’t deserved. I just imagine that the same story could have been much more exciting considering all of the elements present which could have been developed richly had someone else been directing it and/or another cast acting in it. The basic story was full of potential, but (and no offense to my friend) it was lacking anything special.

Overall Rating: 2
Hottie Rating: 0

Alternate Viewing: A Knight’s Tale
?Official Site?
IMDB Site
Crazy 4 Cinema review

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Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006)

Director: Larry Charles
Format: Theater
Starring: Sasha Baron Cohen, Pamela Anderson, Ken Davitian
Theater

If you’re unfamiliar with Sacha Baron Cohen, he’s probably best known as the writer and star of Da Ali G Show. That show, I believe, is where the character of Borat originated. Cohen plays two other characters on the show, Ali G and Brüno and the basic gist of the program consists of Cohen posing as one his various characters in order to interview certain public figures. The whole prank designs to discredit or otherwise embarrass the person being interviewed. Think of Da Ali G Show as a cross between The Daily Show and Jackass. So, if you take the television show, eliminate two of the three characters and stretch the premise for 84 minutes, you’ve got Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.

Borat Sagdiyev is a TV personality assigned by his government to travel to America and report back to Kazakhstan with information with which to better their country. He begins his documentary in his rural hometown, introducing his family. Then, he travels to the US with a camera crew and producer Azamat Bagatov (Ken Davitian) to try and capture some of the culture (and Pamela Anderson). Along the way, he emcees at a rodeo, gets drunk in an RV full of frat boys, attends a fancy dinner party in the South and gains custody of a bear and an ice cream truck. Oh yeah, and who could forget the all-nude wrestling match between Borat and Azamat that rages wildly through a hotel lobby?

The goofy sort of physical and low-brow comedy is not something I usually go for in a film. So, I wasn’t really interested in seeing Borat for a while. I had seen Da Ali G Show a couple of times and thought it was a bit novel and not half bad, but not amusing enough to entertain me for a feature length time span. But, sadly, I became a victim to hype. There was so much hype surrounding this movie when it was released that you couldn’t throw a rock and not hit something with Cohen’s face on it. I did get the point, of course, that the primary purpose for this movie was to illustrate how ignorant and intolerant people in this country often are. As one reviewer put it, “He gives America the rope, but they hang themselves.”

When Borat is interviewing someone and asking seemingly innocent questions, it’s clear that he is attempting to trick them into admitting something that illustrates whatever points Cohen is trying to make. And the victims consistently fall into his trap. It’s not that he’s bad at what he does, quite the contrary. But, it’s not my kind of humor at all. I am already painfully aware of the level of ignorance and bigotry apparent in several aspects American culture. Having the point hammered home is not really funny, but rather depressing and a bit frightening. When the credits rolled at the end of Borat, I was desperately wishing I could have my $5 back. I think I laughed twice during the entire movie; once when Borat introduces his sister and once when he falls out of the frat-boy RV. Neither of which was due to any clever coaxing by our Kazak reporter. Honestly, I’d rather run barefoot through a room full of thumb tacks than see this movie again.

Overall Rating: 1
Hottie Rating: 0

Alternate Viewing: Jackass (at least it has Johnny Knoxville)
Official Site
IMDB Site
Appreciating Great Trash review

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The Jacket (2005)

Director: John Maybury
Format: DVD
DVD Features: added scenes, alternate endings, trailer, featurettes
Starring: Adrien Brody, Kiera Knightly, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Kris Kristofferson
Trailer

The Jacket is a film that I’ve owned for a while now. I found it on my neighborhood video store’s discount shelf. I’m always looking for horror films and anything that looks intriguing that I don’t mind paying a cheap price for. Usually, I buy a few films I’ve seen before, and end up with another one or two undiscovered films to round out my “4 for 20” purchase. Surprisingly, I haven’t been burnt often. There are a handful of actors and directors that I collect, in a way. Adrien Brody is one of those actors, but more on him in a minute.

Jack Starks (Adrien Brody) is dead…well, maybe. He barely survived a grievous head wound while serving in Desert Storm. After being released from medical a year later, he’s hitchhiking down a rural road when he comes across a woman and her little girl having car trouble. He’s just managed to fix their truck when the severely inebriated mother chases him away from the child. But, Starks leaves his dog tags with the girl Jackie (Laura Marano). A bit further down the road, a young man in a station wagon offers him a ride. The driver either has trouble with the cops, or is just plain nuts because, when they’re unexpectedly pulled over by the local PD, the man starts firing on the officer. Jack is caught in the crossfire and is unconscious with a dead cop and a recently fired weapon when the authorities find him. Since Jack’s memory is Swiss cheese, and there were no witnesses to the crime, he is sentenced to treatment at a hospital for the criminally insane.

Quite unwillingly, Jack becomes the subject of Dr. Becker’s (Kris Kristofferson) radical experiments. They involve a lot of medication, being strapped into a filthy straight jacket, and then being shoved into a morgue locker. However tortuous the “treatment” might be, it affords Jack an unexpected peek into the future. It’s during his first trip that he meets a young woman (Keira Knightly) who offers him her couch to sleep on for the night. While casually browsing her apartment, Jack happens across a pair of dog tags. When he reads the name engraved on them, he’s shocked to discover that the name is his. Starks spends the rest of his time flashing back and forth between the year 1995 and, when he’s in the jacket, 2007.

Nobody in The Jacket looks pretty. Jack is emaciated and hollow-eyed. The older version of Jackie is a binge drinking chain smoker who wears dark makeup and doesn’t seem to care about much, let alone her hair and clothing. All of the doctors at the hospital seem like they were pulled straight from the set of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. That is, except for one Dr. Lorenson (Jennifer Jason Leigh) who doesn’t look like she’s gotten a wink of sleep in years. Combined with grainy camera shots, oddly disturbing score (by Brian Eno) and a bleak, snowy landscape, The Jacket has an atmosphere of misery, which is a perfect backdrop for the storyline.

I mentioned Adrien Brody earlier. Aside from having that genuine East Coast attitude and killer good looks, the man is an amazing actor. In 2003, he became the youngest actor ever to win the Best Actor Academy Award for his role in The Pianist. He’s also got a history of taking on unconventional roles, a quality that I have always admired in great actors. So, I was gratified with his appearance in The Jacket. He truly seems tortured and yet, has everyone else’s best interests in mind. Keira Knightly is terrific as the older Jackie. She does such a magnificent job as a tragic, self destructive beauty that I wish she’d play such characters more often. Don’t forget solid performances by Krisofferson and Leigh that really round out the cast.

One problem that I’ve got with this movie is the rapid pace at which Jackie and Starks develop a romantic relationship. It almost seems as if part of the movie was cut out. One moment, she’s kicking him out of her apartment for “snooping” through her things and the next, she’s driving him around the countryside, helping him figure things out. Granted, Jack doesn’t have much time to play with in the movie, but they seem to “hook up” awful darned fast. I guess it’s that Brodie charm.

Overall Rating: 4
Hottie Rating: 5 (Knightly and Brody are both smokin')

Alternate Viewing: Summer of Sam
Official Site
IMDB Site
Planet Sick-Boy review

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Hard Candy (2005)

Director: David Slade
Format: DVD
DVD Features: trailer, commentary, deleted scenes, DVD-ROM, featurettes
Starring: Ellen Page, Patrick Wilson, Sandra Oh
Trailer

My father recently asked me how I choose the movies I get in the mail. "Usually," I told him, "I look for recommendations based on the movies I’ve already rented." Sometimes, too, I will see a movie trailer that grabs my attention and I’ll put that movie on my list. In the case of Hard Candy, I happened to be walking past the television while my dad was watching Ebert and Whatshisname. They gave Hard Candy a great review. It wasn’t really the opinion of another movie critic that made my decision – I’ve said that I don’t read movie reviews much – but it was the subject matter of the movie and how they described it that peaked my interest. And to be honest, their review was a little misleading. But, I didn’t know that before my weakness for Indie films drew me in.

Hayley Stark (Ellen Page) is a 14 year old girl and she’s been chatting for several weeks with 32 year old photographer Jeff (Patrick Wilson) online. After several flirtatious advances, the two of them deicide to meet at a local café. Hayley is clearly very bright for a girl of her age and Jeff is more attractive than she expected. Despite her honor roll integrity, she’s still a bit shy and naïve. After a bit of conversation, Jeff convinces her to come back to his house to listen to some music. When they arrive, Hayley browses the photographer’s portfolio pictures displayed on the walls. She notices that they’re all photos of underage girls in provocative positions. Jeff offers her a glass of water and she responds by saying that she was taught not to drink anything she hasn’t mixed herself. She finds some vodka in his freezer and mixes them both screwdrivers.

Briefly afterwards, Jeff wakes up to find that he’s been tied to a chair. Both he and the audience begin to realize that Hayley is not the innocent child she pretended to be. It seems that she’s been planning their rendezvous for a while now, right down to the activities of his neighbors. While he watches helplessly, Hayley tears his house apart, looking for evidence of pedophilia. After an exhaustive search, she locates a hidden safe and figures out the combination. It seems that what she discovers inside confirms her suspicions and affirms her course of action. Jeff blacks out again and this time, when he comes to, he’s been tied down to a steel operating table, his pants removed and a bag of ice resting on his crotch. And now, Hayley tells him, she’s going to castrate him as punishment for his misdeeds.

The most astonishing part of Hard Candy, however, is not the castration scene. It’s Ellen Page’s phenomenal performance. However young the actress might be, she plays the role of Hayley to absolute perfection. She has command of even the most subtle facial expressions and nuance of character. I was completely amazed by this young actress and I hope to see her in many films to come. Patrick Wilson does a stand-up job as Jeff. For the majority of the movie, it’s really hard to tell if he’s actually guilty of pedophilia or innocently mistaken. It’s difficult not to feel sorry for the guy as he’s strapped down, begging for his manhood. Fans of Grey’s Anatomy will recognize Sandra Oh in her brief appearance as Jeff’s neighbor.

On the one hand, it’s great to see Hayley as an avenging angel for all of the molested children out there. On the other, it’s sometimes difficult to tell if she’s just plain psycho or not. On the one hand, if Jeff really is a sick child molesting bastard, he is well deserving of what he gets. On the other, is this poor guy just taking the rap for a crime in Hayley’s past? Hard Candy is beautifully filmed, superbly acted, and entertaining through every moment. I think it’s one of the best movies that I’ve seen all year.

Overall Rating: 5
Hottie Rating: 1/2 (situational)

Alternate Viewing: Kids
Official Site
IMDB Site
Roger Ebert review *spoilers*

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The Numbers List

11:14

1408

30 Days of Night

11:14 (2003)

Director: Greg Marcks
Format: DVD
DVD Features: trailer, commentary, deleted scenes, featurette
Starring: Patrick Swayze, Shawn Hatosy, Rachael Lee Cook, Hillary Duff
trailer

If there’s a moral to the story of 11:14, it’s that idiots shouldn’t drive. And if there’s a second lesson to be learned, it’s that if you find a body, don’t try to hide it.

11:14 is about the mishaps of five (or six, or four, depending on which review you read) different people living in Middletown, Rural America. The significance of the time mark indicates the point at which their stories intersect. Each story is presented, and then, time reversed so that another tale can be told, all culminating in the moment when the their connection is clarified.

Our first victim of circumstance is Jack (Henry Thomas). He’s just finished a phone conversation when, out of nowhere, a body lands on his car. Since he’s been drinking, he decides that it might be a good idea to hide the evidence. A passerby stops to ask what the trouble is, and assumes that the driver has hit a deer in the road. But, when the cop who reports to the scene opens up the trunk, a mad chase through the woods ensues.

Flash back to Frank (Patrick Swayze), who’s watching his daughter leave from the window of their home. He decides to take his dog out for a walk through the cemetery. His discovers his daughter’s keys on the ground and then runs headlong into a body, its skull crushed beyond identification. Thinking that it was his daughter who committed the murder in self-defense, he decides to protect her by getting rid of the corpse.

Enter Eddie (Ben Foster), Mark (Colin Hanks) and Tim (Stark Sands). They’re a trio of drunken misfits out for a joyride, setting things on fire and hucking stale donuts at passing cars. When one of them decides that to hang his manhood out of the window instead of making a pit stop, he winds up seriously regretting it.

Then, we have Duffy (Shawn Hatosy), who is Cheri’s boyfriend (and who totally reminds me of my ex) and he’s gotten himself into quite a fix. His girlfriend is pregnant and the only way he sees to get the money for her abortion is to rob the convenience store he works at. Buzzy (Hilary Swank), the girl on night shift, doesn’t want to cooperate. But, when she realizes that she might lose her job for accidentally busting a window, she elects to take a bullet wound to make the robbery look convincing.

Cheri (Rachael Lee Cook) is Frank’s daughter. She’s also Duffy’s girlfriend, with a couple of tricks up her sleeve. Not only does she have Duffy running her errands, she’s got two more boyfriends under her thumb and a plot to make it out of town with some cash. It’s Cheri's story that finally wraps everything up and ties all of the tales together.

Even though she’s not the main focus of this movie, Hillary Duff plays her role fantastically. Her tendency to take on characters which make her look neither sexy nor glamorous really earns her a bit of credit in my eyes. I think that it shows that she’s built her career on solid acting skills rather than a huge rack and a family fortune. Swayze, who usually annoys the hell out of me, fits perfectly into the role of overprotective father. The entire cast of 11:14 impressed the hell out of me. I was totally convinced of each and every character and it was one of the best features of the film. The character around which all three stories ultimately spawn is Cook’s. Even though she’s the town tramp, this little chick’s a bit more clever than I expected.

For an inexperienced director, Marcks does a heck of a job with 11:14. Even though I’ve read a series of glowing reviews of this film, I don’t remember it getting much attention in the press at all. While the storytelling technique in his movie has been used before in movies like Momento, Pulp Fiction and Amores Perros, it doesn’t appear tired and uninspired here. It’s true that 11:14 could have taken a more serious spin, trying to teach lessons about morality and consequence, but it doesn’t take on such a lofty attitude. On the contrary, the entire adventure is treated with a comic touch. Nobody in the film is without blame, but there isn’t anyone to hate all the same. It’s a whole lot of fun and doesn’t try to preach.

Overall Rating: 4
Hottie Rating: 2 (for Cook and her outfit)

Alternate viewing: Run Lola Run
Official site
IMDB site
The Onion AV Club Review

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Land of the Dead (2005)

Director: George A. Romero
Format: theater / DVD
DVD Features: featurettes, music video, deleted scenes, commentary
Starring: John Leguizamo, Simon Baker, Robert Joy, Dennis Hopper, Asia Argento
Trailer

Surprisingly, it’s been a while since I’ve reviewed a horror film or in fact, even watched one. So, it feels good to revisit the genre, especially since it’s one of my favorites. The reason that the venue above is listed as both theater and DVD, is that I originally visited the theater when the movie was released and then saw it more recently again on DVD. For a long time after my love affair with horror began, I continued to steer clear of zombies. I didn’t find them very exciting or frightening at all. But, two movies changed my opinion forever and now I have become a gung-ho zombie enthusiast. Those two movies were 28 Days Later and the original Night of the Living Dead. The latter was, in fact, directed by the famous George A. Romero as well and I know that this recent installment of his Dead series was much anticipated amongst his fans.

During the opening credits of Land of the Dead, snippets of news reports provide background for the current state of affairs. The living dead have taken over the majority of the land. Only one non-dead oasis remains, shielded by rivers, walls and troops. And in the middle of this motley city, full of the poor and destitute remainders of the living, stands a towering complex called Fiddler’s Green wherein the elite and well-to-do dine on fine foods and sip their single-malt scotch. A group of soldiers, headed by Riley (Simon Baker) and including Cholo (John Leguizamo), make forays outside of the city to scavenge food and supplies.

While Cholo is raiding the abandoned liquor stores for a means to profit, Riley and his sidekick Charlie (Robert Joy) notice some disturbing behavior (more so than normal) starting to show in the zombie population. As if droves of flesh-eating monsters aren’t dangerous enough, it seems that the undead are exhibiting signs of intelligence. They’re starting to communicate and organize. One zombie in particular, Big Daddy, seems to be the ringleader, showing the others how to use tools and operate machine guns. Once the mass of creatures realizes that they can cross the river, the refuge of the living is f*cked.

There’s more than one threat to the city, however. Cholo, who thought that doing favors for head honcho Kaufman (Dennis Hopper) would earn him entry into Fiddler’s Green, is very disappointed to discover that his kind isn’t welcome. In retribution, he has stolen the tank-mobile called Dead Reckoning and is threatening to blow up the tower unless he gets paid back with interest. And who does Kaufman send to go after Cholo and his expensive machine? That’s right, it’s Riley. Riley, Charlie, former prostitute Slack (Asia Argento) and an escort of Kaufman’s troops are sent out to intercept Cholo and Dead Reckoning before they blow everything to kingdom come.

It’s tempting to try and debate the ramifications of zombies forming a union. Do these new signs of intelligence indicate that there may be a path to recovery? Should zombies be given basic human rights? How can zombies evolve if they don’t reproduce? It’s times like this that I remind myself of one of my favorite phrases, “suspension of disbelief”. Sometimes it’s important to remember that scrutinizing details like these for realism, when the movie under scrutiny is about walking corpses, is kind of silly. It can be entertaining to ponder such things, but it’s not necessarily a point upon which enjoyment of the film should rest.

One of my favorite elements in any horror movie is gore. And gore seems particularly prevalent when those that each human flesh are involved. Land of the Dead has scene after lovely scene of beheading, blood gushing, and intestine chewing to enjoy. The effects crew did a fantastic job of making it all nauseatingly realistic as well. It’s almost too much to land MPAA approval and I’m mildly surprised that certain parts of this movie made it into the final cut. More shocking a revelation, however, is that Tom Savini, the Godfather of Gore, is not credited for any work on the film’s special effects, although he makes a brief cameo appearance. Two recent celebrities who also appear fleetingly in the background of Land of the Dead are Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright. It was admirable of Romero to recognize the two creators of the cult favorite Shawn of the Dead. Look for them as zombies at the photo booth.

Though Land of the Dead is entertaining and dripping with blood, I do have a couple of negatives to point out. One of them is the script. Robert Joy’s character, Charlie, is particularly irritating. That’s not because he’s slow and not because he follows Riley around like a lost puppy, but because he tirelessly repeats the same humorless catch phrases throughout the entire movie. None of the dialogue is particularly inspired and the actors seem to realize it. The best characters come from Hopper and Leguizamo. However, neither actor steps out of his boundaries or gives an unusually stellar performance. Sometimes filmmakers seem to forget that terrible acting is not necessarily a required element of horror, The Shining being a case in point.

While intelligent zombies are a new take for movies of the like, the plot in Land of the Dead is a little unfocused. The undead take a backseat, at times, to the storyline involving Cholo and Kaufman. It’s almost as if they’re just an inconvenient backdrop rather than a serious threat. Until, of course, they storm the city and wreak havoc on the citizens. The movements of Big Daddy and the rest of the undead are in and out of focus in relation to the conflicts elsewhere in the film.

I don’t mean to knock Romero and I don’t presume to tell the master of zombie films his business, even with those few drawbacks I’ve pointed out. The director remains the legendary figure he has been since 1968, his reputation intact. My overall impression of Land of the Dead was that it was a pretty decent horror movie. But, I don’t think it outshines Romero's previous filmography.

Overall Rating: 3 ½
Hottie Rating: 2 (for Argento)

Alternate viewing: 28 Days Later
Official site
IMDB site
Austin Chronicle review

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