Director: John Stockwell
Format: theater
Starring: Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Miguel Lunardi
If my readers haven't noticed by now, my favorite genre of film is horror. Whether it be zombies, vampires, or masked stalkers, I'm game. No matter if the terror comes from the shores of Japan, Russia or Hollywood, I will give it a chance. That’s why, whenever an interesting new horror film hits the theaters, I’m itching to go. But, sometimes it’s not always worth the price of admission. Turistas promised to be a gorey adventure along the lines of Hostel. I didn’t like Hostel, but that’s beside the point.
Alex, his sister Bea and their friend Amy are on the typical mid-twenties backpacking excursion, trekking with their gear through the Brazilian landscape. When the rickety bus they are riding in breaks down, they are told that it’s going to be a long wait until the next vehicle arrives. But, their spirits are lifted when they discover a cozy beach getaway with locals, music and a bar. They proceed to party on the beach until the early hours, when they all pass out. Upon waking, they realize they’ve been drugged. Looking around, they also realize that they’ve been robbed of all their possessions. The trio team up with fellow tourists Pru, Finn and Liam and find a local boy to be their guide. He offers to take them to his village and his Uncle’s cabin. After the long and risky journey the destination they thought was safety turns out to be far worse than waiting for the next bus.
My hands-down favorite character in Turistas was Pru, played by Melissa George. She’s everything I’d love to be: attractive, smart and well-traveled. Pru could appear to some as a snotty know-it-all, but I don’t think the crew would have gotten far without her. There are enough main characters that, I presume, the general public could find one to identify with. However, all of the acting is what you might expect from a mid-grade horror film. It wasn’t atrocious, granted, but I wouldn’t rush out specifically to see anyone in the cast. The rest of the gang is the usual jock/cheerleader crowd, with the exception of Alex’s sister Bea (Olivia Wilde). She’s the token booksmart girl. Not Goths or freaks are among the heroes (or victims) in this movie.
So, was I frightened by Turistas? Did the evil Doctor Zamora (Miguel Lunardi) make me tremble in my seat? Am I less likely to go on a Brazilian excursion? The answer to all three questions is a resounding “no”. The only element to Turistas that made me a bit uneasy is when the group has to swim through a series of underground caves. Lack of air makes be nervous and I sympathized with the characters in that instance, much like the tight-walled cave scene in The Descent. But, I never felt that moment when I needed to hide behind my popcorn. The small amount of gore involved didn’t make me flinch in the slightest. No nightmares, no turning on the lights when I got home. And since that’s what I look for in a good horror movie, Turistas scored low on all accounts. Save your price of admission on this one, and call your travel agent for a true adventure.
Overall Rating: 1
Hottie Rating: 3 (lots of chicks/dudes in swimwear)
Alternate viewing: The Descent
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