Christmas Evil (1980)

a.k.a. You Better Watch Out
Directed by: Lewis Jackson
Format: On Demand
Starring: Brandon Maggart, Jeffrey DeMunn, Peter Neuman, Joe Jamrog
clip

Christmas is such a major event, celebrated internationally, that it's no surprise the holiday has developed its own sub-genre in the film world. Most of us are familiar with the seasonal classics, like A Christmas Story and It's a Wonderful Life. Those titles were made for the holiday and, like pumpkin pie, are usually enjoyed only once a year. There is an abundance of Christmas comedies, possibly because the time of year is so closely associated with cheer and joy. Bad Santa, Fred Claus and the upcoming Four Christmases immediately spring to mind. Christmas drama also abounds with titles like A Christmas Carol, Miracle on 34th Street and The Nativity Story. However, there is a lesser-known category; the Christmas horror. Being a person who tends to lean toward the darker side of everything anyway, my two current holiday favorites are The Nightmare Before Christmas (big surprise there) and Gremlins (it is to a Christmas movie!). That being said, it surprises me that I haven't seen much more of what the industry has to offer in the way of sugarplum nightmares. Last night, in an attempt to rectify this deficiency, I took a chance on Christmas Evil.

When Harry Stadling was a child, he witnessed his mom and Santa having a little "naughty time" under the Christmas tree. For some reason, it scarred the boy, causing him to be obsessed with the holiday. The middle-aged Harry sleeps in a Santa suit, hums holiday tunes and even works at a toy factory. He spends his off-time spying on the neighborhood children and logging their activities in his volumes of "naughty and nice" records. Not surprisingly, Harry isn't a popular kind of guy. People at work take advantage of him and he's increasingly irritated at the world for failing to grasp the true spirit of his favorite holiday. This year, he's finally had enough. He decides to don a white beard, paint a sleigh on his van and distribute some justice.

Brandon Maggart plays the older, disturbed main character and it's hard to say whether or not he's really a bad guy. Sure, he's a murderer and a weirdo, but as the filmmakers are fond of pointing out, maybe what society really needs is the fear of Santa to remind them to behave. Besides, kids seem to love the guy. I still wouldn't want to sit on his lap. Considering that Christmas Evil is practically a one-man show, Maggart carries it pretty well. He succeeds in being supremely creepy but not entirely loathsome. Harry's older brother Philip is really terrible. He's terrible because his character is such a jerk and terrible because Jeffrey DeMunn does such a poor job in the role. Philip is even less likable than the villain.

There isn't enough room here to describe all of the aspects of this movie that make no sense at all. The most puzzling of which, being why Harry's childhood peeping caused him to become a crazy, red-suited killer. I suspect there's a possible Oedipus Complex happening here, but that's a little bit of a stretch. In one odd scene, Harry has crept into the bushes surrounding one naughty child's house. He covers his face and hands in black mud and presses them up against the siding, leaving imprints. Later, the camera pans back to those same black marks, but why? Is it just so that we all know who's house we're looking at? Sorry Jackson, but you lost me here. In another bizarre moment, the young Harry, Philip and their mother are watching Harry's father climb down the chimney and stuff stockings. The three observers are sitting silently on the staircase, cast in strange lighting and not speaking. Was this supposed to be scary?

The entire 100 minutes of Christmas Evil is just uncomfortable; like being molested by a dirty old uncle. There's something totally creepy and uneasy about the whole situation. Nevermind that the movie is obviously low-budget (which isn't always a bad thing) and the plot and acting are weak. The lighting is wacky and the sets and wardrobe stink of moldy 70's stylings. Most of the story is unexplained and what little gore there is lacks inspiration. It's hard to tell whether the audience is meant to hate the main character or root for him or whether any part of this movie should be taken seriously. The only way I'd consent to watching Christmas Evil again is if it was part of an MST3K episode. Not a good result of my first foray into the Christmas horror sub-genre.

Overall Rating: 2 stars
Hottie Rating: 0 stars

Alternate Recommendation: Gremlins
Official Site (the best I could do)
IMDB Page
DVD In My Pants review

Horror-thon 2008

Success!! GP survived 8 unending hours of pure horror yesterday, in preparation for this most phantasmic of holidays. Below are 10 mini-reviews (in no particular order), cooked up for your viewing pleasure. Hold on to your pointy hats.....!

1. 2001 Maniacs (2005)- Dir. by Tim Sullivan. Star. Robert Englund.

2001 Maniacs is the tale of a crew of three college boys off to Daytona Beach for Spring Break. Instead, an unexpected detour takes them to a place called Pleasant Valley. While it's not as far South as Florida, the place is certainly "deep South". Englund plays the town mayor, who sports a Confederate Flag eye patch and a hokey twang. The townsfolk are amazingly generous, but more than a little bit creepy. Excitement for the big feast abounds, but fewer and fewer outsiders seem to be likely to make it to the event...alive anyway. Aside from the fact that the title may have just as well have been 2001 Boob Shots, 2001 Maniacs was highly amusing. The movie shares many intentional similarities to Cabin Fever. So, if you enjoyed watching that one, you'll love this movie. This movie doesn't take itself seriously for a second and that's part of what makes it so much fun. I still don't think Englund would have a career if it wasn't for Freddy Kreuger.

3 stars. trailer

2. Halloween (2007) - Dir. by Rob Zombie. Star. Malcolm McDowell

So many people have told me that they were disappointed with Rob Zombie's remake of Halloween that I was prepared to be disappointed. After finally seeing the film, I would consider it less of a "remake" than an "homage". Zombie has always made it abundantly clear, even prior to his directorial debut, that he is a fan of the genre. He pays a great deal of respect to the original work. The first half of the movie is the background story of how Michael Myers came to be the psychopathic killer he is known as. The second half is a rehash (or an update) of the events in the original film. I found myself completely satisfied with the Rob Zombie version. It shed much light into the main character while respecting John Carpenter's vision.

4 stars. trailer

3. Vampire Diary (2007) - Dir. by Mark James & Phil O'Shea. Star. Anna Walton

Vampire Diary is a film out of the UK. It begins as the story of documentary filmmaker, Holly, who is busy following a group of so-called "vampires" about. This group of club-kids are truly nothing more than pretenders, dancing around in black eyeliner and latex. It's while she's filming them, however, that she meets a mysterious woman named Vicki. Vicki is a completely different breed. The second part of this story covers the somewhat tragic lesbian relationship between Holly and Vicki. Vampire Diary has a very amateur feel that gives the film a gritty edge and a distinctly UK underground flavor. It has a tendency to drag a bit in the middle and it is certainly not typical of vampire movies. The best part is really watching Anna Walton.

2 1/2 stars. trailer

4. The Happening (2008) - Dir. by M. Night Shyamalan. Star. Mark Wahlberg

The latest from M. Night Shyamalan seems to have gotten just as bad of a rap as The Village did. Call me biased, but I don't think this director has yet to make a "bad" movie. In The Happening, a mysterious event has spread throughout the East Coast, causing people to commit suicide en masse. School Science teacher Elliot Moore, his wife and their friend learn that the airborn toxin is wafting to Philadelphia and decide to join the exodus out of town. I thought the storyline for The Happening was an inspired one; very original. There were some extremely disturbing scenes, most memorable of them being at the construction site. However, the movie suffers from one major flaw. It's name is Mark Wahlberg. While I appreciate the man's acting for the most part, he was awful in The Happening. A cardboard cutout of the actor would have done just as well and had to have been paid far less.

3 stars. trailer

5. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007) - Dir. by Tim Burton. Star. Johnny Depp

When I heard that Burton was going to give the classic story of Sweeney Todd his special treatment, I was ecstatic. When I learned that it was going to be a musical, I was less enthusiastic. When I actually heard Depp and Bonham Carter sing, I was nauseated. The costume and sets in this movie are the most gloriously theatrical since Pee Wee's Big Adventure. There is good deal of blood spraying and gushing about, but it all looks (intentionally, I suspect) rather fake. The plot is truly deserving of the "classic" badge of honor, by the way, and would seem to lend itself well to a director who dabbles in the dark and delightful. Wonderfully stylistic, as Burton tends to be, but marred significantly by the lead actors' serious lack of any vocal skill whatsoever.

2 stars. trailer


6. Invasion (2007) - Dir. Oliver Hirschbiegel. Star. Nicole Kidman

This story has had many incarnations, from the original, black and white, 1956 version to the 1993 stingray creature version. It hasn't gotten any less creepy. My personal favorite was the 1978 Donal Sutherland version. Regardless, the concept that those around us might all someday turn against us is inherently sinister. Kidman and Daniel Craig struggle through this latest version, trying to remain unturned. The story is basically the same as in past renditions. The two stars are convincing and do their roles proud. I think Invasion is now my second favorite telling of the Body Snatchers story.

3 stars. trailer

7. Quaranine (2008) - Dir. John Erick Dowdle. Star. Jennifer Carpenter

Initial trailers for this film had me saying, "That looks like the dumbest movie ever." But, since it was the only horror film playing at my neighborhood theater on the dark and stormy night that I insisted on driving that extra mile down the highway, I ended up seeing Quarantine anyway. It just goes to show how deceiving trailers can be. The entire film is shot through a hand-held videocam, exactly like Blair Witch was. So, until the 20 minutes that it takes to get used to the unsteady picture passes, you may be a little motion sick. While it is, on the one hand, sometimes frustrating to have the audience's vision restricted to the perspective of one character in the film, on the other, the restriction heightens the sensation that someone may be creeping up behind. The story is interesting and takes advantage of paranoia as its main scare tactic. A pleasant surprise and the only one of these 10 films that actually frightened me at all.

3 stars. trailer

8. The Reaping (2007) - Dir. Stephen Hopkins. Star. Hillary Swank

The Reaping centers around a college professor, who travels the world in order to disprove so-called miracles. Because of her reputation, the town of Haven sends a school teacher to meet her and request her aid with one of their own mysteries. It seems that the town's entire river has turned to blood. It seems also, that if Katherine doesn't agree to help, a young girl's life may be in danger. As she sets about applying her scientific methods to explain the phenomenon, the town is visited by a series of biblical plagues and it becomes harder for Katherine to deny a supernatural cause. The Reaping was not disappointing, mainly because I didn't think it would be any good in the first place. The "twist" ending is trite and predictable. The acting is mediocre. One thing I was grateful for was the absence of focus on the apparently tempting topic of a black man in the South.

3 stars. trailer

9. Shiver (2008) a.k.a. Eskalofrio - Dir. Isidro Ortiz. Star. Julio Valverde

Shiver comes to America from the same people who brought us The Devil's Backbone and Pan's Labyrinth. It's the tale of a young man with an allergy to sunlight and his single mother. To avoid the bullying and health issues of living in the city, the pair move to a town in a shady valley. When villagers begin to die, their blood sucked from their bodies, guess who's the main suspect? I detest the American name for this film, but that's just about the only thing I found objectionable about it.

3 1/2 stars. trailer

10. The Number 23 - Dir. Joel Schumacher. Star. Jim Carrey

While I am not a fan of Carrey's brand of comedy, I do enjoy him in dramatic roles. In The Number 23, he plays a dog catcher who is, while bored at work, happily married with a son. On his birthday, his wife gives him a small-press paperback that cause him to correlate everything to the number 23. Save yourself the trouble and rent Pi instead.

2 1/2 stars. trailer

Update: Halloween Plans

GP had planned a nice, relaxing vacation down to our beloved Austin, Texas for the holiday weekend. However, due to unforseen and tragic circumstances, we had to cancel our trip (Luckily, we won't miss out on any party action for our most favored holiday). What that means for you is, we have the opportunity to present a special event.

Last year, Gummi Popcorn posted a list of our favorite 10 Horror recommendations. This year, we will begin monster movie maddness (starting immediately after this is posted) which will last for eight grueling hours. At the end of it, GP will post 10 (count 'em) mini reviews. Each one will be a movie never before reviewed at GP and each will be even more terrible than the last!! (OooooOOOOooooh!). To keep up our strength, we have fortified our castle with Bloody Mary's and salted nuts. Will we survive so many straight hours of Hell??

Wait and see.....

Halloween Picks

The 31st has rolled around again and it's my favorite time of year. So, without further ado, I present 10 of my favorite scary movies for your Halloween pleasure (in no particular order).

1. 28 Days Later - the first zombie film to convert me to zombie fandom. Tired of slow, boring zombies? Well, suffer no more! The undead in 28 Days Later are hyper speed and completely insane!! This is why I wake up every morning, praying for zombie apocolypse.

2. Dead Alive - directed by Peter Jackson of Lord of the Rings fame. This movie was made before he was as well known as he is now, and still making quality horror. If possible, get the unrated version. Looking for gore galore? Well, this film has it in endulgent excess with a healthy dose of humor poured in. If you strike out and get the rated version, you're missing the animated intestines.

3. Rosemary's Baby - sure, it's a little tame compared to today's standards; there's no gore and little violence. However, it's a classic, creepy tale that any pregnant woman would shudder at. Even if you're not PG, it's a well-made thriller.

4. Evil Dead - no horror movie list is complete without this title. If you see such a list, it wasn't written by a true horror fanatic. Sure it's campy and low budget and it's basically a one-man Bruce Campbell show, but it's funny as hell.

5. Tale of Two Sisters - this is a Korean film, so be prepared for subtitles. The camera angles are really what make the movie frightening. The first time I viewed this one, I was paralyzed until it ended. Very, very terrifying!!

6. The Eye - another subtitled movie, this time from China. It's about a blind woman who gets an eye transplant and can see the dead. Mostly psychological scares, but very eerie.

7. The Shining - from one of the best directors in history; Stanley Kubric. Need I say more? It also has little to do with the author of the book by the same name. For some reason, it's the weird bear costume scene that scares me the most.

8. Halloween - the first one. Legendary to be sure. I cannot vouch for the rest of the series, but the initial film is solid.

9. Night of the Living Dead - another classic. The entire movie is filmed in black and white and it's of the slow zombie variety, but a good foundation in horror films starts with this one.

10. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (original version) - This movie is hands down, the most terrifying movie I have ever seen. Seriously scared the crap out of me! If you've ever driven through the rural parts of Texas, or any other small town roadside stop, you might know that fear. The really frightening thing about this film is that, in most horror films, the woman runs outside in her neglige and high heeled slippers to check out strange noises. In TCM, the lead character does everything I would have done and still finds herself in a nightmare.

**Bonus Pick** High Tension - a French horror film. Yes, there ar subtitles, but not many at all. The movie is mostly action and - indeed - tension. See it, see it, see it. High Tension knocked Fight Club out of it's number one status as my favorite movie of all time. It's since been replaced by Grindhouse, but that's another review for another time.

I hope you enjoy my Halloween suggestions and have yourself a ghoulish holiday!

The Ice Harvest (2005)

Director: Harold Ramis
Format: DVD
DVD Features: alternate endings, featurettes, commentary, outtakes
Starring: John Cusack, Billy Bob Thornton, Connie Nielsen
Trailer

As I looked over the description on the sleeve of The Ice Harvest, my heart sank a little when I read the words “…Harold Ramis’s outlandish holiday thriller.” Outlandish can be alright sometimes. Thriller is usually a good bet. But, holiday?! You see, I’m not fond of holiday movies at all, not when “holiday” means Christmas. Seeing as how I’m not fond of Christmas, unless there’s mass murder involved, I don’t appreciate the holiday interfering with my movie enjoyment. Naturally, there are a few exceptions. A Christmas Story is rather amusing, especially because it’s so dysfunctional.

The Ice Harvest takes place in Wichita Falls, Kansas. It’s wintertime (hence the word "ice" in the title). Charlie (John Cusack) is a mob lawyer who has a plan, but not the guts to follow it through. Vic (Billy Bob Thornton) is his partner, who has the guts but not the brains. After sneaking away from Charlie’s boss with two million bucks, the two of them plan to spend the night in town, acting casual, and then fly out nice and easy the next day. But, one night turns out to hold a lot of surprises. And by the end of that same night, Charlie proves to have more guts and Vic proves to have more brains than anyone thought.

As is characteristic of his recent persona, John Cusack plays the role of Charlie with a mostly calm and collected sort of cynicism. Although he is a bit of a nervous character at times, he holds steady through this caper. His lack of panic during the most stressful of situations is pretty much the only outstanding trait Charlie has. Billy Bob Thornton plays a creepy, suspicious character much better than he has ever played a fine, upstanding citizen. I think it’s his shifty eyes that give him away. One of the most simple, but enjoyable characters in The Ice Harvest is Renata, played by Connie Nielsen. She is the sultry club owner and target of Charlie’s affection. Or, rather, lust. She got a smooth, deep voice, bright red lipstick, a killer figure, and the word “danger” written all over her. Renata may have been more at home in a Bogart murder mystery. Nielsen practically steals the show from Cusack and Thornton.

It is difficult for me to decide on who I think must hate Kansas more – the people who live there or the people who wisely stay away. The entire landscape is bleak, rainy, and frigid. Only the indoor scenes hold any warmth or interesting décor. All of the main characters in the film hold a strong desire to escape Wichita Falls. Even though Charlie and Vic are looking to run from the man they robbed, the whole reason for grabbing the cash in the first place is to leave town. If it hadn’t been a hundred degrees outside, I may have welcomed the warmth of the indoor scenes. Practically every room held something warm, from lighted holiday figurines, to windows draped in red. The inside of Charlie’s former home, now that of his friend Pete, was decorated in steel and blue glow and even that seemed toasty in comparison to the weather outside.


The word “Christmas” in this movie’s description turned out to be a non-concern. Amidst the lighted trees and reindeer, so much foul spirited activity abounds it is easy to forget that the holiday is looming. So, I was relieved of that at least. But even despite the good work of the actors involved, The Ice Harvest lacked any real hook. I didn’t find myself routing for the hero (or anti-hero) or tense during any of the action. I basically didn’t care and I wasn’t so concerned about how the whole thing would turn out. It was truly as mediocre as the Kansas landscape.

Overall Rating: 2
Hottie Rating: 3 (Renata smokes up the screen)

Alternate Viewing: Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
Official Site
IMDB Site
Boston.com review

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