The Mangler 2 (2001)

Directed by: Michael Hamilton-Wright
Format: On Demand
Starring: Lance Henriksen, Chelse Swain, Daniella Evangelista, Miles Meadows, Will Sanderson
Trailer

I will watch almost any movie, once, depending on the situation. I shop the horror section, on most occasions, before venturing elsewhere. That being said, I'll explain the situation that led me to choose The Mangler 2 from my On Demand menu. A couple of weeks ago, in an attempt to get a handle on my love handles (watching movies all day will do that), I hired a personal trainer. This past Saturday, she worked me so hard that, on the following day, I was barely able to move due to muscle soreness. Taking this as the perfect excuse to shirk my responsibilities and lay in bed all day watching movies, I set about to do just that. Although I had just rented two perfectly watchable DVDs from the video store that prior evening, I decided to go for the cheap thrill. "Besides," I reasoned, "that Ellen Page movie would probably go better with a dusky light and a glass of wine."

The Mangler 2 centers around a group of private college students. Jo Newton (Swain) is the daughter of a neglectful father who happens to own the school. She is of the angsty/goth/hacker variety, although her "hacking" consists mainly of downloading programs from the Internet. She and her fellow school prefects are held back from a school outing because the jerk headmaster (Henricksen) wants to know who's defaced the school's website. Feeling pissed off and outcast from her classmates, Jo decides to infect the building's new high-tech security system with (dun, dun, duuuuun!) The Mangler 2 virus. Just as the program is busy downloading, class jock, Dan (Sanderson), climbs through her window and distracts her from her revenge. The two run off to join the others, Emily, Corey and Will (Dexter Bell) for an impromptu pool party.

After Jo brags about her newest prank on the school, the group realizes that they would be the prime suspects since they're the only students there. So, they all run up to the headmaster's office to fix his email and place the blame on someone else. As they make their way through the empty hallways, they begin to come across mangled faculty members. When one of their own is boiled alive by the sprinkler system, they realize that they've got to fight the machines for their lives and try to escape the grounds before they're all dead.

Here's a movie selection tip - whenever you see Lance Henricksen's name on the cast list, avoid at all costs. His filmography is a list of B-grade flops and cartoon voice-acting. Granted, there are a few exceptions, like Alien or (maybe) the first Pumpkinhead, but it's a safe bet that whatever horror movie he's involved in will suck horribly. The rest of the cast of "teenagers" is just as awful. Daniella Evangelista plays class slut Emily who is mainly just a set of boobs bouncing their way through the script. She'd be attractive if the camera never panned above her neck. Of course, The Mangler 2 includes the class stoner, Corey (Meadows) and the token black guy (Bell) as well. Chelse Swain only has one expression - the twisted mouthed angsty one - and she doesn't pull even that off very well. Midway through the movie, the school's chef (Philippe Bergeron) is added to the group of hopeful escapees. His anti-computer monologues could have been amusing if they weren't delivered in the most lame fake French accent ever. In fact, I didn't realize he was trying to be French until someone mentioned it in the movie.

Sometimes, I can overlook a sad plot and horrible acting if the gore is exceptional. Sadly, that wasn't the case with The Mangler 2. There is some blood splatter and a crazy, wire entangled, horny headmaster, but some of the murders are offscreen. In a horror movie, no kill should ever, ever be offscreen. None of the effects were nauseating or even shocking. The animated computer wires are laughable. Even Jo's animated fractal screensaver is pathetic.

I never saw the first Mangler movie. After having seen the sequel, I don't think I need to see another Mangler movie ever again. This movie was weak, it lacked imagination, there was hardly any gore involved, and the acting was scraping the barrel. Don't waste your time with this movie. I've seen porn with better acting. There are a million horror movies out there and I'm betting that at least 80% of them are better than The Mangler 2. Still, it's not the worst movie I've ever seen and for that, and that alone, I can't give it a 0 rating.

Overall Rating: 1/2 star
Hottie Rating: 1 star

Alternate Recommendation: an episode of Scooby Doo
Official Site (none found)
IMDB Page
DVD Verdict review

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The Devil's Backbone (2001)

a.k.a. El Espinazo del Diablo (Spanish title)
Directed by: Guillermo del Toro
Format: On Demand
Starring: Íñigo Garcés, Eduardo Noriega, Federico Luppi, Irene Visedo, Fernando Tielve
Trailer

I'd first seen a trailer for The Devil's Backbone some years ago in an art haus theater. I don't remember what I'd gone there to see, but I remember keeping this Spanish movie in the back of my mind. So, on a dark and stormy recent night after a few martinis, I'd only barely convinced myself not to stop at the video store on the way home. On Demand, I reasoned, would have to suffice in the name of my budget (Grey Goose martinis are seldom cheap). But, I was lucky that night and happened upon The Devil's Backbone in the horror menu. It was just the perfect selection for my mood and one I'd seemed to have put off for too long. I remember seeing del Toro in person, at a special screening of an early film in Austin. Of course, he went on to direct Pan's Labrynth, so the credentials behind this movie are substatial.

Somewhere, in a rural area of war-torn Spain, there is an orphanage. An old widow, Carmen (played by Marisa Paredes), runs the boy's home with the gold left behind by her late husband. After, Carlos (Tielve) loses his father, family friends leave him in the care of Carmen. With his stash of comic books and wind-up toys, the boy makes fast friends. Jaime (Garcés) is the resident bully and he's not terribly impressed with Carlos, and maybe a little jelous. During his first night, Carlos learns that the orphanage harbors a secret - there's a ghost roaming about. He also learns that the young handyman, Jacinto (Noriega) has a thirst for gold. The war hovers nearer their doorsteps and yet their greatest threat may come from inside. Is it the little boy's ghost or the greedy Jacinto that will ruin them all? What horrible secret is Jaime privy to? Where is the gold hidden and who will come out of this place alive?

History not being my strong suit, I couldn't begin to tell you which famous Spanish war is raging in The Devil's Backbone. del Toro knows though, and he seems fond of showing its effects on children. In both this film and in Pan's Labrynth, he depicts the orphans of this particular entaglement. While not concentrating on the fighting itself, he chooses to explore the lives of who may have been left behind. I tend to sympathize with his choice. Often, history is told of heroes and noble generals, not the underestimated courage of people on the fringe. His focus is poinant and special.

No matter what language, good acting shines through. For a child actor, Ferando Tielve does an impressive job. The majority of the boys do what they do best - be boys. The best character by far, was Irene Visedo. She plays a tough, amputee widow with dignity and grace. Íñigo Garcés was a little less convincing and I think he was chosen mostly for his eye-candy factor (if you're into that sort of thing). His girlfriend, Conchita (played by Irene Visedo) is a noble character, but really little more than an ornament in this film. All around, half of the cast acted suburbly and the other half was so-so.

The Devil's Backbone is really a story within a story. The dual plot keeps things interesting and the perspective of the young characters makes the film refreshing. I liked the way the movie was shot, with plenty of dusty browns and shadows. I think the bomb might have been developed a little more as an aspect of the film. It's hinted at and maybe some of the symolism escaped me, but it could have played a bigger part. This movie is not as fanciful, even considering the ghost, as Pan's Labrynth and I believe that there was more room for that fantastic aspect. One thing's for certain though, I shouldn't have waited so long to see The Devil's Backbone.

Overall Rating: 3 1/2 stars
Hottie Rating: 1, maybe

Alternate Recommendation: Pan's Labrynth
Official SiteIMDB Page
The Austin Chronicle's review

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Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone (2001)

Director: Chris Columbus
Format: DVD
DVD Features: theatrical trailer, additional footage, Hogwarts tour, explore Diagon Alley, catch a snitch, DVD-ROM extras
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Robbie Coltrane, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Richard Harris
Trailer

Anyone who is just beginning to get into the Harry Potter series will need to start with this movie, or its literary equivalent. The Sorcerer’s Stone is the very first installment of Harry’s adventures and was very much anticipated by fans of J.K. Rowling’s novel. By now, there is hardly anyone who isn’t familiar on some level with the name Harry Potter. However, I resisted the pull of this franchise for years and I imagine there may be others who haven’t yet delved into the story of this child wizard.

Young Harry Potter (Radcliffe) is at the age of 11 when this tale begins. He was orphaned as an infant and left on the doorstep of Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, his aunt and uncle. Rather than treating the boy with the tenderness and love a family should share, the Dursleys dote on their fat, spoiled son Dudley (Harry Melling) and force Harry to live under the stairs. One day, a letter is delivered via owl for Harry and although the Dursleys try their best to keep him from opening it, it finally reaches the boy. Much to his amazement, Potter finds that he’s been invited to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Not only that, but he’s told that both of his parents were powerful magicians who died defending him from a notorious evil wizard. Amazed to discover that magic is real in the first place, Harry is greatly delighted to find that there is an entire magic society, carefully hidden from Muggles, or non-magic people.

Our young hero boards the steam train headed for Hogwarts and meets two fellow students. Hermione Granger (Watson), a studious know-it-all and Ron Weasley (Grint), a red-headed boy in hand-me-down robes, will be Harry’s two closest friends. Their first year at school brings several surprises, a few rivalries, and an adventure that sparked a phenomenon.

The magical world of Harry Potter is loaded with wonderful special effects. Pictures that move and speak, chocolate frogs that really hop, floating candles, transforming cats, and flying broomsticks are just some of the enchantments that The Sorcerer’s Stone has to offer. But all of the CGI in the world means nothing without a decent plot or cast.

That’s why it’s so important to appreciate the skillful actors in this film. Most of the main characters are played by young actors, who were relatively unknown before the Potter series began. Naturally, they lack some of the subtleties that the more seasoned cast has mastered and it is nice to have the two ends of the spectrum to balance out the performances. Professor Serverus Snape (Alan Rickman) and Professor Minerva McGonagall (Maggie Smith) are two of the best played roles in the film. Rickman fits into the black robe of the snide, sinister (but not quite evil), professor like a snail fits its shell. McGonagall is prim and proper and sometimes severe, but nonetheless a friend to Potter. As far as the younger members of the cast are concerned, all three are impressive on the scale of child acting. I enjoyed Watson and Grint a bit more than I did Radcliffe. However, Radcliffe has become the face of Harry Potter and I’m not sure that I would readily accept a cast change for his position.

Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone should win an award for “Most Accurate Adaptation From a Novel”, because it is nearly possible to read along with the movie. I read the novel after I saw the film and I was actually a bit disappointed. I had been seeking something further from the book than I found in the movie, but it wasn’t there. Nevertheless, the series is addicting, despite its target age demographic. While this first film is not as entertaining as some of the later movies, it provides the necessary background to them all. So, if you’re looking to explore this world of wizards and witches, be prepared for a Potter jones until you get your hands on The Chamber of Secrets.

Overall Rating: 4
Hottie Rating: 1 (for Sean Biggerstaff and his adorable Scottish accent)

Alternate Viewing: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe
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IMDB Site
Flipside Movie Emporium review

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Evolution (2001)

Director: Ivan Reitman
Venue: DVD
DVD Features: audio, subtitles
Trailer

Ah, remember the hey-day of comedic alien action flicks? There was Men In Black, Mars Attacks, Starship Troopers and yes…Evolution. These days it seems to be all about remaking the classics, I, Robot (ok, not about aliens), War of the Worlds, Superman Returns (yes, he’s an alien). I say, let’s bring back the gun-totin’ wise-crackin’ green-blooded days of yore. What about a Ryan Reynolds and Linda Hamilton duo of everydayman fights the menace from Mars? You can’t tell me that Jeff Goldblum wouldn’t make a good astrophysicist trying to keep the military from vaporizing his specimens. Yes, I could conjure plot line after plot line on that topic, but that’s not what we’re here for, is it?

The alien invasion in Evolution arrives by way of meteor, carrying tiny spores of life. Dr. Block (Orlando Jones) and Ira Kane (David Duchovny) are two science teachers at a local community college. When they catch wind of the smoldering rock, they arrive on the scene and quickly collect samples. Back at the lab, they discover that the samples host a soup of single-celled organisms rapidly dividing and changing. In short order, the alien cells become flatworms and from that point, their “evolution” explodes. When our heroes trek back to the crash site, they see that, much to their chagrin, the military has taken over. What begins as a battle of legal rights to research studies, quickly grows into a battle for the human inhabitants of the city. Luckily, they’ve got Dr. Allison Reed (Julianne Moore) who crosses over from the military sector and Wayne Grey (Seann William Scott) a local wannabe fireman on their side. The plot is a good one. It stems initially, from Block’s and Ira’s hopes for fame, which is a departure from the usual fleet of flying saucers. The aliens don’t seem consciously bent on global conquest either. There are no spokes-creatures making demands or laser blasts from tripods. The creatures are seemingly interested only in adaptation and survival. I have to admit that I found myself sympathizing with the invaders.

Plot: 4 stars

Duchovny and Jones make a good comedy team. The movie also hosts a decent cast of established actors from Julianne Moore to Dan Aykroyd. The entire cast pulled together nicely and I can’t think of any glaring moments of loathing for any one character. It was easy to see Duchovny as an ex-military schoolteacher, who’s somewhat washed up. I could also see him befriending Dr. Block and humoring his lecherous after-school “tutoring”. I do think that Duchovney and Moore would have some sinfully ugly offspring though.

Acting: 3 ½ stars

Why is it that I enjoy a good mall thrashing so much? A movie always seems to gain points with me if there are shattering shop windows and screaming consumers scattered about. The first alien mutation to become tolerant to Earth’s atmosphere is a four-legged dragon-like creature. After witnessing it’s mucousey birth and subsequent liftoff, Ira and Block chase the beast to the local shopping complex. Once inside, our heroes smash open a sporting goods gun display and head off after their specimen and its shoplifter prey. It’s a fun scene with lots of ridiculous posing and manly postures. There are also massive detonations of napalm, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Action: 4 stars

Evolution is packed with CGI. At the time the movie was made, computer graphics hadn’t quite reached the point of glistening realism that they have today. Consequently, the visual effects aren’t that spectacular. But, since this is a comedy, and the audience isn’t expected to take anything seriously, it’s not such a crime that the monsters lack a certain polish. I think the ape creature – which was most likely a costume – was a neat design and the cave that becomes the creatures birthplace has a nicely creepy air, if somewhat Star Trekey (Old School, of course). My major gripe about the effects in this film is that none of the alien abominations seem very original at all. From flatworms, to slugs, to reptiles and then apes, all of the spawning creatures mimic Earth life much too closely.

Visual: 3 stars

At last some memorable, albeit not astounding, lines of dialogue from a film! In one scene, Ira is advising his friend not to hope for cooperation from the military. He alludes to some past experience with the government. Allow yourself, for a moment, to believe that he’s talking about The X-Files. The lamest moment of dialogue comes after the rescue of the shoplifter in the mall. I bet you can guess what she says from miles away. So not funny.

Dialogue: 3 ½ stars

I enjoyed Evolution quite a bit. If you asked my brother, he’d tell you that the movie went well with “the munchies”. The next time you want to go retro (read late 90’s to early 2000’s) with your movie choice, pick up Evolution and enjoy some relaxed laughs for a couple of hours.

Alternate viewing choice: Mars Attacks
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Rotten Tomatoes review

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